Living is strife and torment, disappointment and love and sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms. I said that some time ago, and today I do not think I would add one word. Laurence Olivier
To fail at keeping a promise makes me sad. Nothing rains on my parade more than not living up to my expectations. It happens often and likely will continue happening unless I close off to all hopes and dreams. You see, I make a promise because I am optimistic about what I can do. Everything seems possible in my head and on paper. My intentions seem stellar. Having been raised in a German home I found some words to sound the same in English but have very different meanings. For example, "I will!" sounds somewhat like "Ich will!" In English that statement is packed with strong intention but in German it means "I want to!"
I always want to until doubt, fear, and feeling overwhelmed rise to sap me of my strength. Will my children remember me as the mother who wanted to, but never came through? That sounds harsh. I wanted to throw them beautiful birthday parties until I ran out of steam. I wanted to go to all the basketball games, ballet performances, and piano recitals but sometimes I was tired and frustrated. Now, before I sound too maudlin I want to assure you, dear reader, that I do come through on my promises often. I visit my grandchildren every week, send out birthday cards, and try to be aware of all my family and friends are doing. And one promise I have made, to always remember my Savior, is very important to me. So, I don't always fail at keeping promises and I want to stay hopeful that I can meet my own expectations of myself and those of people I love.
My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.
Michael J. Fox
I am joining Ann Dee Ellis and other writers in using a prompt to record memoir moments. If you don't write your story, who will?