Planting A Seed

    I am a global learner, which means I look for the bigger meaning, and when I study the scriptures I look for connections between chapters to see themes and patterns. This produces insight for my life and often answers questions that linger in my head. I find such connections between Alma 28-42.
   At the end of chapter 28 I hear the editor Mormon make a strong statement.
   "And thus we see how great the inequality of man is because of sin and transgression."
   I hear much about inequality due to education, monetary status, and race but our society ignores the idea that sin and transgression might lead to the inability to lay hold on blessings much greater than education, wealth or status.
   Chapters 30 and 31 tell of an anti-christ who seeks to destroy faith in Jesus Christ and of the Zoromites who set themselves apart with pride and also deny a possibility of a savior. These teachings cause a group of poor souls to wonder how they can possibly even worship since they are outcasts in their community.

   Enter the planting a seed story. The seed is not just a hope in being acceptable, it is a seed that leads to faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the great equalizer. His power brings strength to the faithful and repentance to wayward one. When Alma grieves over his people's iniquities he is inspired to start with his own seed, his sons. I feel that his sons benefit from their father's counsel and become strong enough to go forward in faith. They grow and become able to serve. The answer is always the atonement and I marvel at how many ways and how many times this doctrine changes the course of families and even nations.

Steal Like An Artist

     Yohji Yamamoto, an award winning and influential Japanese fashion designer once said, "Start copying what you love. Copy copy copy copy. At the end of the copy you will find yourself." Here are some artists I'm copying because I love their work.
    Jacqui Lown  fires up my imagination. There are elements to her painting which draw me to a magic place. Between the worlds is such a painting. Here is my version in watercolor and paper.

   I snapped a picture of her postcard behind my watercolor. My colors are different  but the secret place under the earth, where new life is sprouting, is just as inviting in my copy.

       Jay Bryant Ward paints wonderful faces and scenes with Jesus Christ. They are luminous. I used another postcard version to embed in a mixed media painting. I am lifted up seeing that every day.

       In an Art Journaling magazine I found the work of Caltrin Wetz-Stein. She is so unique and different. I cut out all her illustrations. One small copy appears in my mixed media a painting below. I tried to keep her style both with color and style. My husband asked to keep this one. He has it by his desk.

  

      Currently I'm taking watercolor classes from Gina Lee Kim. We do a project together following her instructions. I copy but then feel compelled to do something of my own. Copying is a springboard to my creativity.

     I would never sell anything with an image someone else created unless I had permission. but for my own pleasure, I copy.
     " It is better to take what does not belong to you than let it lie around neglected."
                  Mark Twain

Still

     My writing is always informed by beautiful images, If I have some beautiful pictures i can find words to describe and ground them into my life experience. As I was playing with some artsy postcards with letters on them I found myself drawn to the words that describe the power of Jesus Christ. He has shown me his power and I can testify of his realness in my life.

    I became very still inside as I worked with paint and postcards to bring to life his tremendous influence. Looking through scripture to find words that were my favorites brought such quiet to my mornings.

  I believe and rely on his power to:
         Enable Me To Have His Added Strength
         Forgive Me For Sin and Transgression
         Restore My Lost Innocence and Even My Body Defying Death
       

  I honor his power to:
    Create An Eternal Existence For Me
    Provide Peace To My Hungry Soul

    My pages are not finished. There are more powerful aspects to his eternal life. Art journaling about him invites him into my quiet, reflective space. He and I can be still there. Even when I close the book he is still there.

I write on Fridays with a large group who inspire me. Only five minutes and without much thought to perfection. I write, prompted by one word that sends my thoughts to the keyboard and hopefully make sense.

A Little Altered Board Book Entitled "The Gifts Of Imperfection"- A Brené Brown Journal

     Some weeks back I was invited into my friend's art studio to work on a new project. With recycled children's board books we created new journals.

    My theme was easy to identify because I'm reading 'Daring Greatly" in a women's group online and offline with my daughter and friends. I wanted a little journal to remind me of the most important messages of both "Daring Greatly" and "The Gifts of Imperfection".

      I started off with the three gifts, courage, compassion, and connection. These gifts truly are real.

   I want to remember that compassionate people are also those who honor boundaries around themselves and those around others.

   "We are wired for connection." I find that connecting to others who may seem different or far away from us brings unexpected joy. The best treat of doing my online class was making a friend from Michigan who reached out and surprised me with her interest and openness.

     I don't see myself as a perfectionist but this definition encompasses my response to many things in life. Perhaps another way to look at it is a process of self-justification. Perfectionism moves us along a path of suffering. Riding the "hot wheels" of perfectionism is grueling.

Simplify! I need these words as I head into the next two months of holidays.

   Perfectionism rides with shame.  Shame is a big subject. I want to remember that a shaming experience becomes bigger when we don't talk about it. 

    Solving problems is a God given gift. After all, when Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit God gave them options to solve their problem. Part of being creative is seeing another way to make the whole beautiful.

    Staying humble and vulnerable is something I must take in small steps. I do a lot of backsliding and getting back in the game.

   Wow! Numbing is big for me. This week I tried to eat at the table at every meal to avoid numbing feelings with food at the TV. I only made it once a day. I will try again this week.

   And, lastly, my mantra for the next while. Courage over comfort may be the hardest thing I have ever tried to embrace.

     I love my little board book. Thank-you art friend for sharing your idea and time.

July Is For Joy

         Have you ever laughingly thought that Lehi must have excluded women in the following scripture because he knew they worried too much to have real joy?

   2 Nephi 2:25 "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."

         Joke aside, women may be even more able to embrace joy. In the past I sometimes tried to save joy for later when my current worry was resolved. I have recently learned that joy can't be saved in a "good feelings" bank account. When it comes the road opens and a fork appears. This way, let the feeling flood me, engulf me, and witness the gift like water from a deep well. The other way, block it, deny it, and hope it is there when you feel more worthy.

     What is Lehi saying right before this message about joy? 

     2 Nephi 2:21 "And the days of the children of men were prolonged, according to the will of God, that they might repent while in the flesh;"

     What does repentance have to do with joy? There is nothing that brings the Holy Ghost faster than repentance. When a child of God chooses to act and desires repentance, swoosh....divine help appears. There is an opportunity to feel the amazing love of God in the repentance process. I observed that when my son invited his girl friend to take the missionary lessons in our home. Each week the joy quotient rose in our family. I felt electrified, uplifted, and full of joy as she steadily came to the choice to be baptized.

     Now, what does Lehi say after the scripture about joy?

    2 Nephi 2:26 "And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given."

  There is no other way to have a fullness of joy. It is rooted, planted, and firmly embedded in our Savior Jesus Christ. He is the good news. His testifies of joy himself.

  3 Nephi 17:20 "And they arose from the earth, and he said unto them: Blessed are ye because of your faith. And now behold, my joy is full."

   I think His joy was full because these souls were choosing Him. They wanted alignment with his mission to bring them back to Heavenly Father. They were choosing at-one-ment. 

Truly the fullness of joy will come when we are in the presence of our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again. Nevertheless, I have benefited from some small down payments that the Father has given me. These feelings are deep within my heart. Often I am compelled to tell whoever is close by that I am so happy. I can't seem to engineer these feelings so I know they are from a divine source. They don't seem to be connected to lack of adversity. In the middle of a trying, difficult scenario, I have been sent this joy. It is however my choice to receive. Just like a football player reaching, stretching, and running toward the ball, I find that the joy is cherished so much more when I am willing to receive. May we spend some time this July thinking on the choices we make that help us receive joy.

I'm On Call; Is He?

     Most days I am caring for five grandchildren and their mom, who is mending with a broken leg. My expected twin grandchildren could come at any time, as well. I feel like I'm on call. To be on call means to be waiting but ready with a plan of action. I find myself escaping into a good book when it's quiet. So, I'm wondering if God feels like He is on call. Here we are, His children with a myriad of life experiences, praying to Him when we feel helpless. In the good times He does a lot of waiting while we forget to thank Him for glorious, smooth sailing weather. Then the call comes. We need help, now. I so appreciate that He "says love" most of the time. When I hear or read His words I let them embrace me. 

    The words we say to each other are powerful. Truly we wrap them around our hearts when they are kind and uplifting. Unfortunately we also wrap them around us when the words we hear are harsh and cruel. I am monitoring what I say, carefully, these days. And I am not complaining about being on call. Noting what goes through my mind is my way of keeping above water. It helps me stay in ready mode. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

"The Red Knit Cap Girl"

   I love children's books. I still buy them and get such a delight in reading them to anyone, really. My current favorite is "Red Knit Cap Girl", written and illustrated by Naoko Stoop.

   She's curious, adventuresome, and a solver of problems. Her friends are very supportive. She always wears her red knit cap. If the greatest form of flattery is imitation then I want to let you know that I love Naoko's stories and illustrations, and her little character keeps showing up in my art journal. Here are some recent examples.

   In my version, her friends are a sort of suspect rat and an "over the top" happy frog. I'm trying to like the rat.

                                        Here she is, a little over dressed in my favorite reading corner.

     She jumped up onto the stool and started painted at my art desk. I hope her skills are better than mine.

         And finally, on our recent snow day she shouted for joy right on my front porch. On this Valentine's Day of red color, grab your red cap and give someone a hug.

Staying The Course

  While I wait for Part 2 of Brene Brown's e-course I am working on her interlude prompts. This week I am reviewing what being authentic means. I get that this means being who we are without bending to outside forces but I reserve the right to change. I have core beliefs that will nor bend but I want to transform as I grow. I still have growing to do.

I am a thinker, a creator, a communicator, a peacemaker, and most importantly, a believer. I hope I change in cultivating more of these qualities.

My Valentine

Today is not Valentine's Day but my valentine would not want me to honor him on the day. He hates holidays which dictate what one should do, especially commercially. 

   We will celebrate our 40th anniversary in a few months. I have lived with this man twice as long as I lived with my parents. Our courtship was short due to the fact that when we met I was dating his roommate. I was finding better conversation with Mark so the roommate began to disappear. By the time I fully noticed my error I was committed heart wise to the long. tall Texan. I listen to him breathe at night and feel so fortunate to be with someone who stirs me to be my best self. We have changed since those years at college. Whew! That is a relief. We are in our best years and I pray to have many more.

Island Living

I chose to live on an island 25 years ago. At first it was an adventurous move but then we started working here and our life was fully engaged in our community. I finally found a sense of place. My place was defined by water. Our line to the mainland was a vessel. 

    Without really planning it, I reached for a dream I had as a teenager. I first saw the ocean when I was sixteen. I felt changed. I seemed to be connected to the ocean somehow. Now I see it often. That is perhaps why  poem by Mary Oliver caught my eye and my heart.

                                                                                     I Go Down To The Shore

I go down to the shore in the morning

and depending on the hour the waves

are rolling in or moving out,

and I say, oh, I am miserable,

and what shall-

what should I do? And the sea says

in it's lovely voice:

Excuse me, I have work to do.

by Mary Oliver

Pour Out

   "I have found it useful to see my soul as a vessel; I often ask myself what it contains before I kneel before the Lord. There is a difference in my approach when I say, “I’m going to pour out my soul to God,” rather than “I’m going to say my prayers.” There is more intensity, more earnestness, and more honesty. The very phrase suggests there will be no holding back. Prayer to me seems to imply only words or ideas. Pour out encompasses the world of emotions and feelings. It is helpful to me to understand or recognize exactly what is in my soul. I must be totally honest with myself. Is it confusion, or doubt, or complaint, or sorrow, or love, or gratitude, or guilt, or shame, or worry? I believe what the Father wants from us is the contents of our souls. I sense that unless we pour out, he cannot pour in."

  S. Michael Wilcox from Face to Face

Ephesians 4:10 He that descended is the same also that ascended up far above all heavens, that he might fill all things.

A Photo Merge

    I am wonderfully drawn to my art studio every morning. Surrounded by papers, paint, stencils, ink, markers, and brushes, I leave the worries behind and just let the creativity come. On a recent visit to the local tea shop I picked up a postcard which invigorated me. I used it in the background and added some other collage elements.

   In this art journal I'm going back to words as well as images. A cup of herb tea in this lovely place is a treat.

    On the computer I merged my two pieces to see what further fun I could create. Gee, I hope the chinese characters are right side up. I wonder what they say?

Recent Art Journal Entries

I've been dabbling in Mixed Media lately. I love the paint, textures, and lettering options. Watching You Tube tutorials gives me a foundation to try my hand at this type of artwork.

                       Going to an art supply store is better than a bakery but more costly. Doing art it is an alternative to mindless eating. I always feel so quiet during being upstairs in my "art studio".

     Recent acquisitions of art supplies include gelato sticks, stencils, art pens in gold and silver, and washi tape. I am ripping up old music and books for texture.

    Someone gave me a copy of sheet music from the 50's. The music inside disappeared long ago but the front page was still intact. If I can't play Rhapsody in Blue I can still use it as artwork.

   On an old board which I had used to decoupage my son's six year old picture, I recreated a new version with his two children. I included a little note I carried around for years which thanked us, his parents, for being good examples to him. It is a little scary to gift this to him at Christmas because, you know, he might think it is tacky. But I hope it is a keepsake with meaning.

    "Creativity is an expression, much like talking, seeing, feeling. Just as in any other means of expression, we can tap into our vulnerabilities, embrace them and create deeply meaningful work that will connect with the deepest parts of ourselves and others. Embracing our vulnerability creates a moment in time for us to get really honest with ourselves, both in our creative lives and our personal lives. Once you express this in your creations, your personal life will feel lighter. You’ll feel the weight of a burden releasing itself. Why? Because you’ve created a healthy and meaningful release of its expression in your work."

Roberts, Kelly Rae (2008-09-02). Taking Flight: Inspiration And Techniques To Give Your Creative Spirit Wings