Friday, March 7, 2014

Trust In My Creative Life

   My painting e-course is another pathway to self-discovery. I am happier when I have a creative project. Undeniably my day goes much better if I can slip upstairs to add something to my canvas. But, an old gremlin nags at the corner of my mind. This is an expensive hobby. Time flies, unaccounted for. Shouldn't  I be helping someone else or working for world peace? Am I just filling up another room with paintings my children will have to dispose of someday?

   My father might have asked the same questions years ago. He physically worked so hard every day that his body ached upon coming home. The first thing he did was soak in a hot bathtub to ease the pain. But he had a creative life that also ached for release. On weekends he disappeared into his workshop/artist studio. There he carved creatures out of stone and sketched scenes on his walls. The scenes depicted his homeland. A beautiful ice-skater twirling over a frozen lake, skiers racing down snow, and faces enjoying the sensory experiences of life graced the plastered drywall of his sanctuary. His artistic endeavor did not put money in the bank. And money in the bank was really important to him. How did he balance these two opposite desires. 

  I run my hands over the faces he created out of stone. These gifts he left me allow me to be with him. I only had him twenty-four years. His art has been my friend all these years since his death. Thank goodness he listened to the voice of self-discovery.

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