Thursday, January 31, 2019

Chapter Eight- The Gymnopodist



Chapter 8


We should have a music of our own - if possible, without any Sauerkraut.
Erik Satie


Miguel liked to imagine himself as ‘The Velvet Wirewalker’. Like Mr. Satie, he wore a special jacket on the wire so that people would associate him with that title. Now all he needed was to find a velvet umbrella. When Satie died they found two hundred umbrellas in his closet. Surely, Miguel thought, he was a secret wire walker, too.


Pablo Gonzales parked his car down a side street. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and combed through his dark, thick hair with his fingers. Slipping the piece of paper with the security code out of his front jeans pocket, he reached into the back seat for the can of gasoline. The smell reminded him of years of mowing lawns. Filling the gas reservoir on the top of the mower always left residue on his hands.
He walked the short distance to the Boys Club silently and pulled his black hood up over his head. He would need to walk with his back flat along the entrance wall to avoid the camera at the front door. It would capture his image for a few seconds while he entered the code and opened the door but he would keep only his back visible. With sleeves pulled over his hands to obscure the tattoo above his wrist, he slipped into the building.
In the main corridor the security lights glowed  just enough to illuminate the offices and further the door to the gym. The smell of body oder and stale coffee reminded him of the years he had spent in these halls and especially in that gym. The Boys Club was a second home, maybe even the only home where he was valued for his special skills. 
The order was to burn the club to the ground. But, he was not going to do that. He would destroy the evidence in the equipment room but he didn’t have the heart to burn the whole building.
He slipped into the gym and walked across the polished floor, hearing the sound of  the tread as his shoes gripped the surface. Once inside the equipment room he looked around for the cable and ropes. He gathered them together and then made a pile of  discarded towels. Pablo noticed the pile of umbrellas. Those were Miguel’s. A deep sadness gripped his throat. With an iron will he pushed the death of his brother out of his mind. He had a mission to fulfill and this was not the moment to grieve. 
The parallel bars and balance beam looked liked skeletons in the dark with only the security lights in the gym filtering in from the door. The towels would burn well and the pile of mats in the corner, too. He doused the pile with gasoline and with a flick of his finger, lit the lighter and watched the glow snake around the white material. 
Pablo closed the door securely and looked at the flames through the window. He doubted the security camera worked inside the gym. He stayed close to the edges of the room and let himself out the back. 
As he went back to his car he took out his burner phone. He would wait just long enough for the whole room to be engulfed and then report the fire. There were other orders he would need to follow through on. One was making sure the Gonzales kid didn’t get released from the Juvenile Detention Center. 


When Stevie and Reggie arrived the next morning at the Highland Park Police precinct the homicide detectives were abuzz with talk of the fire at the local Boy’s Club.    Pictures of the fire were being passed around. Stevie took the pictures and studied the charred remains. The detectives were sure that the fire was arson and that it was set to destroy evidence concerning the Miguel Cervantes death. Stevie looked at everyone huddled together for the morning briefing. Who was asking questions? Why did everyone seem to agree? When Detective Mullins arrived things grew quiet. His demeanor was intense with a slight sense of desperation. 
“Okay, people. I think we all feel this fire was set by the Gonzales gang in an attempt to cover up evidence that Jorge rigged the equipment in the death of his friend. What did you find at the scene this morning?” Mullins turned to his right to indicate that the two detectives should do the talking.
A short square policeman with an uniform slightly too small began a damage report on the Boy’s Club. Stevie didn’t remember his name but noted his diminutive demeanor.
“What looked to be an equipment room was burned to the ground. Someone reported the fire in the middle of the night and the fire department arrived in time to save the rest of the building.”
“Ok, Detective Symonds, what is the status of Jorge Gonzales?”
 “An attorney arrived to take responsibility for him and he was released into the custody of his parents.” Detective Symonds spoke quietly but Stevie could tell that Mullins heard every word. 
“What?” Mullins shouted across the room. “Why was he released?
“The evidence we have against him is circumstantial. The county district attorney pushed to have him released. She said we don’t have anything that proves he sabotaged the equipment. And, sir, we really don’t have enough.” 
“Well, don’t stand around here, let’s find some evidence. Go over that video the kid made and read through the witness statements again.”
“Excuse me, Detective Mullins.” Stevie felt her heart rate elevate and she forced herself to stand up and face the rest of the detectives. “I think we may need to be looking farther afield than Jorge Gonzales. In interviewing Miguel’s mother, his piano teacher, and Jorge himself, my partner Detective Watts and I have found nothing to indicate that these two younger boys were part of the gang…..”
Mullins whirled around and stepped up into Stevie’s face. 
“His piano teacher? What in the world would she know about a gang boy?” He snorted the words into her face.
Stevie felt her stomach convulse as she faced Detective Mullins. He was attempting to shame her into backing down. She understood this technique. It was a cheap shot at discipline but it wasn’t going to work on her. 
“Actually sir, the piano teacher may know more about this young man than even his mother. I’ve learned to listen to people who care for the victim and those who hate the victim. Both may be blind to some truth about the person but good detective work means reading between the lines.”
In a mocking way Mullins bowed to Stevie and snorted. 
“Tell us then Detective Dangerfield,” He exaggerated her last name, “Who do you think we should investigate?”
At this point Reggie stepped up next to Stevie and added his point of view.
“Who has something to gain by causing the death of Miguel Cervantes? You think Jorge was forced into retaliating against the Cervantes gang by killing his friend? Both of these boys have brothers who hate each other. Have the younger boys participated in the past in any gang related activities? I’ve read the reports and I don’t see any evidence.” 
 Stevie felt grateful for Reggie’s questions. They seemed the only ones in the room ready to make deeper inquiries. 
“Look Watts, all the kids are tied up in these activities. It is a way of life. Don’t be naive about what’s going on here.” Mullins looked at his detectives who were nodding their agreement.
Stevie stepped forward and folded her arms over her chest. 
“Who is looking into the Boy’s Club? Is Alex Douglas involved with the gang’s in some way? He runs this club and has had relationships with these boys for years. What does he know?”
“Okay,…. okay Miss Dangerfield why don’t you go investigate the Boy’s Club connection and we’ll be waiting to hear from you.” Mullins walked around Stevie and came back tot the front of the room. “Symonds, you bring in Pablo Cervantes and Javier Gonzales. Let’s squeeze them into giving us some more information. You are all dismissed.”




Monday, January 14, 2019

Breathtaking and Ordinary


See the Breathtaking and the Ordinary


A breathtaking view might bring us into the moment with absolute wonder. Our eyes might get wide, our pulse quicken, and gratitude might flood us with love for this life we are living.





But, the ordinary moment can also bring that kind of joy.

  Perhaps you glance at the window sill in the middle of a rushed and full day to see the daffodils opening in January. Stop. Look. 
Feel the gratitude flood through you for this amazing life you are living.


Breathtaking (adjective) astonishing or awe-inspiring in quality, so as to take one's breath away.
Ordinary (adjective) with no special or distinctive features; normal; commonplace

Be Where You Are 
See the breathtaking and the ordinary




Monday, January 7, 2019

Be Where You Are While You Are Here

Don't chase peace away when things are okay.

 Sometimes when things are good in life I let my mind swirl with idea and plans and then I find myself burdened in the middle of a joyous time.


A steady mind is a mind that can stay on the ordinary moments of breathing, smelling the bacon on the stove, feeling the sponginess of a good wool yarn, or hearing your husband snoring.
I try to remember that my body can't feel the difference between being stressed out by an adverse event or imagining that event when it is not even happening. The heart still races, the mind is muddled, and the breathing becomes shallow. 

That is chasing peace away when things are okay.
So,
be where you are while you are here.


Friday, January 4, 2019

My Three Little Words For 2019

                    Sometimes I Hold Back


It can be that I'm tired, afraid, feeling too vulnerable. pretending to be committed, not really present in the moment, all these things might keep me from putting heart, mind, and soul into my endeavor or relationship.


These words invite me to watch where I'm holding back and they invite me to try a new approach. Each month I will look at a symptom of the malady of holding back and each Monday I will record my thoughts here on my blog to see where this journey has taken me. 

January- Be Where You Are While You Are Here


February - Feel The Bads and the Goods



This is an index page to my monthly and weekly thoughts.



Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Chapter Seven The Gymnopedist



Satie spent most of his time in Paris, walking to and from the city each day, stopping en route to take coffee and aperitifs and jotting musical ideas in the small sketchbooks he carried folded in his breast pocket .
Mary E. Davis 
Erik Satie; Critical Lives




Mrs. Hanson introduced Miguel not only to music but to how musicians lived. She gave him a little, black  book where he could write his musical ideas and told him how many composers received their ideas while walking. Miguel thought that walking a wire was a superb place to get a musical thought. That was why he always had his phone playing music while he rehearsed above the ground. 


Reggie had met Angelika Hanson, Stevie’s mother, during another homicide case when she turned out to be a victim of a burglary. An elegant woman in her sixties with stylish short, silver hair, Angelika was a concert pianist and also a teacher. It made Reggie a little nervous to talk to her because he knew so little about music and the world Angelika traveled in, was foreign to him. He was now on his way to Stevie’s home to talk to Angelika about Miguel Cervantes and Jorge Gonzales. He was curious about what she might know concerning  these boys. How much would a piano teacher know about a teenage boy’s life outside of lessons?
The yard around Stevie’s house was ablaze with color on this summer evening. Roses dressed in bright orange, coral, and red clamored up the trellis along the side of the house. The scent of this beauty rested on the air and mixed with the warm smell of moss. Reggie always noticed these kinds of things because it was such a contrast to his  apartment building in the city. Concrete and escapee weeds, which burst through cracks in the rock around his building, limited his exposure to nature.
“My mother isn’t home yet. Let’s go to the backyard.” Stevie led the way along the side of the house as Reggie dodged a few stray vines. The temperature felt to him to be still in the seventies.
“I am anxious to open up the windows to let a breeze through the house. I’ll be right back.” Stevie said.
 The garden furniture, soft and comfortable, was plastic and Reggie knew his shirt would soon be sticking to the back rest. He pulled over a footstool and propped up his feet. Closing his eyes, he thought about the odd assignment they had been given. They were investigating a strange death, in a small town, where they were not welcome. Reggie couldn’t really buy the motive that Jorge Gonzales jimmy rigged his friend’s equipment so that he would plunge to his death because he was part of a rival gang. He didn’t feel any aggression from this young boy. 
Reggie looked over at the house and through the window watched Stevie walk around inside the kitchen. She stopped and gathered up her long hair. He noticed her slender neck as she put it in a pony tail. He could almost smell the light citrus scent that would come from her hair. 
The crunch of gravel brought his attention to Angelika walking onto the patio from around the side of the house. She stopped and looked at Reggie, and then looked beyond him to her daughter in the kitchen window. Did she know he was gawking at Stevie? He sat up and took his feet off the footrest. 
“Hello. Are you stopping by for dinner?” Angelika smiled.
Reggie jumped up and awkwardly extended his hand. 
“Good evening, Mrs. Hanson. No,….we actually came to talk to you.”
“To me? About what?” she asked as set a basket full of books onto the table. 
 “Ah…I think Stevie would like to start this conversation.” Reggie tried to seem overly happy so that she would not anticipate the bad news of Miguel’s death. 
At that point Stevie appeared with a pitcher and glasses on a tray. The tray seemed heavy and Reggie stood to take it from her and set it on the table. Stevie embraced her mother and they all sat down. 
“Let me pour you something cold?” Angelika said.
 “Mom, Rosa didn’t come to clean the house today.” Reggie noticed that Stevie was shifting in her seat so that she was facing her mother.
“How do you know she didn’t come?” Angelika looked alarmed and Reggie thought back at the visit they had with Miguel’s mother. What kind of relationship did Angelika have with her housekeeper?
“Because, ….we were with her today when we had to give her the news that Miguel, her son, fell while walking on a wire that he and his friend attached to the bell towers in Highland Park. He did not survive the fall.” Stevie looked to Reggie to be both relieved and agonizing about how her mother would respond. She must have been carrying the burden of making this announcement all day.
“What? Miguel? How did he fall?” Angelika asked.
“The wire was weak and it collapsed.” Reggie wanted to reach out and push back the veil of long, dark hair that was hiding Stevie’s face from his view. “I didn’t know until today that you were teaching Rosa’s son.”
“Well, it wasn’t a secret.” Angelika looked down into her lap and Reggie saw her clutch the folds of her skirt with her hands. “Some years ago Rosa mentioned that a family had abandoned their piano when they moved. She managed to get it moved into her house. I helped her find someone to tune it and make minor repairs.” 
Reggie wondered how Rosa could afford piano repairs and why it would be would  important to her to even have an instrument in the first place.
“I can’t believe this is true. He was just here having a lesson this week.” Angelika took Stevie’s hands and looked into her eyes with sorrow. Reggie looked away from this open show of grief. It made him uncomfortable. 
“Stevie, he was really good at the piano. There was a natural talent that made it easy for him to learn and he loved music. He really loved music.” Angelika brought Stevie’s hands up to her heart and wept.
Reggie looked over at Stevie and couldn’t help feeling moved by the sorrow he saw between mother and daughter. Tragedy was not foreign to these women as they lost their husband and father, in years past. To Reggie, Stevie’s compassion was both admirable and a little unnerving. He appreciated the love she had for her mother and  saw her compassion bestowed on his own father, Harold Watts, when she came to play the piano at the care home where Harold lived after his stroke. But, Reggie pushed away too much compassion as a hindrance to his investigations.
“Mom, can you tell me what you know about Miguel Cervantes? What was he like and what do you think motivated him to learn music?” Stevie asked. She gently dried some tears off Angelika’s face with the back of her own hand. 
“What I know about Miguel came from listening to him play the piano and answering the questions he had about music.” Angelika said.
“How long have you been teaching him?” Stevie asked. 
A fresh breeze cooled the garden as the evening chatter of birds died down. The leaves rustled, sounding like gossiping whispers to Reggie as he relaxed into the story Angelika was telling them.
“I started three or so years ago. He came to lessons on the city bus, after school. For him it was a commitment of two and one-half hours travel, including the lesson time. For me it was a commitment of opening my home to an after work student. Really quickly, I realized that he was feeding me with his enthusiasm and work ethic. You said you talked to Rosa? Oh Stevie, she must be heart broken. Miguel was one child who was choosing a different way to live.” Angelika continued to strongly press Stevie’s hands against her heart. Reggie could see the effort of extending her hands was difficult for Stevie.
“What way of life are you referring to, Mrs. Hanson? How did her other children choose to live differently?” Reggie asked. Hearing Reggie speak made Angelika turn and release Stevie’s hands.
“She told me some years ago that she suspected Pablo had joined a gang. His father was killed in a gang shooting and she was frightened that he was following in his footsteps. Wait…., do you think Pablo’s death was gang related?” Angelika shook her head quickly back and forth. “No, not Miguel. I think I would have sensed if he was spending time with that kind of negativity.”
“But he was only with you an hour a week.” Reggie said
“No, you don’t understand. In that hour we didn’t just learn music, we talked of how to best manage our lives, to allow beauty and truth to come through us. We read biographies of composers, looking for secrets to their creativity. There would have been clues to his duplicity if he was also running with a gang.” Angelika said.
 Reggie was skeptical of her knowledge.
“Pardon me for pointing this out, but he was living a duplicitous life already. He was hiding his wire walking from his mother and brothers.” Reggie picked up his glass of lemonade and drained in in two gulps. 
A moment of silence made Reggie feel he had stepped out of line, countering Angelika’s analysis.
“Mother, did he talk to you about his passion with wire-walking?” Stevie asked.
Angelika clasped her hands together and interlaced her fingers, holding them over her mouth, just under her nose.
“Yes, he talked about his years of gymnastic classes. It was about the time he started walking higher installations that he discovered the composer Erik Satie.”
Who was Erik Satie? Reggie had never heard of him him before.
“This composer’s eccentric view on life fascinated Miguel. He read a few biographies and talked to me about his rejection of the musical world he lived in. Miguel thought himself like Satie, in that he rejected the world of his brothers.” 
“So you are saying that Miguel talked to you about his brother’s gang involvement?” Reggie became more alert as he waited for Angelika to explain.
“No.” 
Reggie was not surprised. Why would a kid talk to his teacher about being in a gang?
“He never once told me that his brothers were in a gang but he did tell me that he felt very different from his brothers. They were aggressive and controlling. He wanted something else. His desire was to embrace music and movement as a way of life. That  was taking him in a direction very different from his brother’s activities. I just put two and two together, knowing about his father’s death and what his brother’s might be doing. ” Angelika stood and slowly made her way into the house.
Reggie watched her go up the shallow wooden stairs and then he turned to Stevie. 
“Did I offend your mother?” he asked.
“No, not really. Reggie, she is saddened with this news about Miguel. I’m sure she is having a difficult time lining up her history with Miguel and with the facts of our investigation.” 
“Maybe I should go. It’s too late to go back to the station. Shall I pick you up tomorrow morning on the way to Highland Park?” 
“Yes.” Stevie stood and came around the table to stand before Reggie. She took his hand and squeezed it gently. “Thank you for being considerate with my mother.” 
Reggie stood with his hand still in Stevie’s grasp and couldn’t think what to do next. She released it suddenly and cleared her throat. 
“Let me walk you to your car.” 
“No, please, go spend some time with your Mom. I can see myself out.”
Reggie turned and walked along the pavers, set into perfect sized steps along the side of the house. He could feel that Steve was watching him and for the life of him he could not figure out what she might be thinking.