"So, the atonement of Jesus Christ
applies to sins but doesn't apply to putting yourself down? How could there be a worse sin than that?"
M. Catherine Thomas
Mistakenly, I grew up feeling that I had to be my own worst critic. It was vanity to think well of myself and certainly I could be self-deceived if I thought I was gifted or talented. In a way there was evil in considering the good in myself. Turning outwards was more righteous. With all this lifting of others, I was still judgmental of my friends and comparison robbed me of joy. My daughter introduced me to the concept of self-compassion. Sending lovingkindness to myself seemed silly and simplistic at first.
Yet, as I sat the morning, the words, "May I be safe.", "May I be healthy", May I be peaceful", warmed and comforted me. It was natural to extend myself to those in my family, and community, and then to those who I felt separated from when I started by addressing my own needs first.
There is nothing darker than speaking evil of yourself and nothing more bitter than feeling worthless
Mistakenly, I grew up feeling that I had to be my own worst critic. It was vanity to think well of myself and certainly I could be self-deceived if I thought I was gifted or talented. In a way there was evil in considering the good in myself. Turning outwards was more righteous. With all this lifting of others, I was still judgmental of my friends and comparison robbed me of joy. My daughter introduced me to the concept of self-compassion. Sending lovingkindness to myself seemed silly and simplistic at first.
Yet, as I sat the morning, the words, "May I be safe.", "May I be healthy", May I be peaceful", warmed and comforted me. It was natural to extend myself to those in my family, and community, and then to those who I felt separated from when I started by addressing my own needs first.
There is nothing darker than speaking evil of yourself and nothing more bitter than feeling worthless
1- We have to become aware of all the subtle and overt ways we judge ourself and others (both of these coming from the same faulty thinking);
2- We have to replace the tired old tapes with a new kind of thinking and energy, a truer kind-a thinking we listen and listen and listen to while we let all the old falsehoods fall away, as we unveil our true self and discover the life we will be led to live.
If you want to learn more about self-compassion Kristen Neff has a wonderful website.
If you want to learn more about self-compassion Kristen Neff has a wonderful website.
This is so insightful. We are called to love our neighbor as ourself, and yet we cannot fathom self-love. I am learning to accept the things that make me unique, and to stop judging others as better or less than me. Gretchen Rubin's words, "Be Gretchen," helped me to start seeing myself in a new light. Thanks for your friendship, and your responses to my blog. It means the world to me. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteShari, thank-you. To be encouraged to write is very helpful to me.
DeleteOften I don't think we see putting ourselves down as a sin, but it is because it's believing lies rather than seeing ourselves as God sees us. I think if we show compassion to ourselves it does increase our ability to show compassion to others.
ReplyDelete"A lie told honestly still has the same consequences." Doesn't that quote just grab you?
DeleteSelf-compassion is just so hard, isn't it? I often wonder why. I myself espouse being kind and loving to others but find it so very difficult to turn those sentiments inwards. I'm going to explore the website you recommend (thank you! I definitely need some help in this area!)....
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be awesome to feel assured that the kind, loving people we know have that loving kindness for themselves, as well? I believe it would help me trust in others.
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