Mindful Monday- A Year of Mindfulness

"The challenge is simple: lose the long list of changes you want to make this year and instead pick ONE WORD."

On this Mindful Monday, the last one of the year, I choose to write about the impact this word has had on my life. I will freely admit that choosing a word for the year sounded silly at first. That is why I picked Ribbistrate in 2015. It was a word no one knew because my friend made it up. The novelty of playing with a completely unknown word made it fun to use it, write about it, and incorporate it into my life. This year in January I felt an urgency to submit to mindfulness. Unpacking the many ways I needed to be more mindful proved so useful. Each month I picked an area in my life that needed my attention starting with my scattered  mind. Meditation was the foundation of my mindfulness training. Learning to sit and let my mind center on my breath, sounds, physical sensations, has become a long term habit. I may not be good at it but I am and will continue to show up to meditate every morning. 

 

Morning meditation makes it easier to catch myself driving without attention, not listening to someone in front of me, or not acknowledging my body's clues that I need to rest.

On Wednesday I will actively plan out a year with a new word. Another word that seems suited to my needs. These words do not just benefit me but extend to my loved ones, students, and friends. 

"This process provides clarity by taking all your big plans for life change and narrowing them down into a single focus. Just one word that centers on your character and creates a vision for your future."

Mike Ashcroft

Mindful Monday- Grateful For Children

If we have a heart to learn and a willingness to follow the example of children, their divine attributes can hold a key to unlocking our own spiritual growth.

Jean A. Stevens

Walking into my classroom at church yesterday I found six excited and ready children. I was not expected to teach that day, as I had a music assignment later, but how could I not gather them around me on the floor and meet their expectant eyes? I was filled with gratitude for their readiness. 

"These children are providing examples of some of the childlike qualities we need to develop or rediscover in ourselves in order to enter into the kingdom of heaven. They are bright spirits who are untarnished by the world—teachable and full of faith. It is no wonder the Savior has a special love and appreciation for little children."

My class of six and seven year olds are full of faith. They believe I will guide them into important paths which will engage and enliven them. I wonder how often I disappoint? If my lesson is a disappointment I am quickly forgiven. If I forget something, they don't look at each other with raised eyebrows assessing my capabilities. They do lose interest but I find it happens when I am not fully engaged. They respond to being "all in".

   I find them to be more teachable than I imagined. If I provide careful instruction, equal to their abilities, with many repetitions so that they can gain proficiency, they come along. They come along with enthusiasm. I am grateful to be among children everyday. I hope to remain teachable and faithful.

Elder M. Russell Ballard has taught us the importance of the Savior’s admonition to “behold your little ones” when he said: “Notice that He didn’t say ‘glance at them’ or ‘casually observe them’ or ‘occasionally take a look in their general direction.’ He said to behold them. To me that means that we should embrace them with our eyes and with our hearts; we should see and appreciate them for who they really are: spirit children of our Heavenly Father, with divine attributes”

(“Behold Your Little Ones,” Tambuli, Oct. 1994, 40; emphasis added; “Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1994, 59).

 

November is a month for paying attention to my level of gratitude. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- Grateful To Say Yes

“i imagine that yes is the only living thing.” 

E.E. Cummings

Yesterday I said yes four times and I am so grateful. I could have "no, it won't work", "no, I don't have time", or "not now". But, I said yes. The first yes went to The Spirit. While teaching my 6-7 year olds in church, I felt prompted to invite my students to search the four gospels in the New Testament. We have been working on finding references together. I allow them to put removable highlighter tape on our weekly scripture. Now the library copies have purple highlights on many pages. When I heard the prompting I put it away as impractical and without purpose. But I said yes and let them look. Each child found a highlighted page and they were all different. Having context for these verses made all the difference. We had a good conversation because they remembered the stories from previous lessons. YES.

My granddaughter was hanging on my arm during church sharing time. "Can I go home with you today?" I see her many times during the week and frankly after church I'm tired. But, I said yes. When we arrived home my other son was there with his daughter and the girl cousins had some alone time without their siblings. YES.

   
Later, my husband asked politely if I could cut his hair. It was the sabbath and I was tired. But, I said yes. A fifteen minute job made such a difference to him and it was easy for me. He had waited many weeks. YES.

   While my older daughter is home for a few months we occasionally do Evening Lines. The idea for Evening Lines came from a book by Regina Sirois called "On Little Wings". The aunt in the book invited her niece to visit. Every evening during her visit a teenage boy in the neighborhood came by to talk. She joined them and learned about Evening Lines.

“I wanted him to see the difference between what he read and what he thought so I gave him a daily assignment to find his favorite words and read them to me. It evolved into our nightly readings.

There are no rules. We each pick a line or passage out of something we read that day – be it cereal box or Shakespeare – and recite it to each other. Nothing long. Sometimes three words. Sometimes a paragraph.”

   As my husband came into the living room later, he told us he was ready for Evening Lines. Right now? But, I said yes. Our Evening Lines were so different. One was a quote from "The Brothers Karamazov" by Dostoyevsky, another from a book about our economy, and the third from a talk by Sheri Dew. Unrelated, disconnected, but fertile fodder for discussion. YES.

While learning to say "no" is important, saying "yes" can lighten and brighten your day. I am grateful for my state of mind and for allowing "yes"

November is a month for paying attention to my level of gratitude. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

        

Mindful Monday- How Does Gratitude Feel?

Sit for a moment and think of  something for which you are grateful... 

Is gratitude a feeling that manifests in our body?  I think it is. In Psalms 30, David expresses his thanks to the Lord. He feels lifted up, secure in the Lord's prosperity, more aware of the healing power of God, girded in gladness, and his mourning is turned into dancing. These descriptions of how he feels indicate expansion, peace, and a lightness of spirit. Could a meditation on gratitude offer this to you and me?

Every morning, this past week, I have opened myself more fully to gratitude. I sit and breathe and think on someone for whom I am very grateful. I've noticed an expansion in my breathing and a softness in my heart. It seems that relaxation is related to these mental thoughts. As the minutes tick by, I find it easy to let my mind rest on more and more  things for which I am grateful. 

"Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you. Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe."

Wayne Dyer

November is a month for paying attention to my level of gratitude. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- Grateful For Divine Compensation

"You are the God who sees me",  for she said, "I have now seen the One who sees me."

      Genesis 16:13

    Hagar in the Old Testament had many issues. She was a less favored wife, and by her own choosing she made trouble with Abraham's  covenant wife because of her resentments. When she ran away an angel came to her. Without knowing anything about the angel's message, the fact is, she received divine assistance. The angel admonished her to go back to Abraham and Sarah and gave her compensation by promising her a great future for her son. Later, she must leave, by command of Abraham, and she is sustained again by the same angel. God opens up her eyes and she sees a well of water from which to drink. Her eyes were opened literally but also metaphorically. She is made conscious of the compensation given her by a loving God. Mortality comes with unfair and unwanted situations, I am so grateful for the gift of compensation.

    About fifteen years ago I was suffering from disappointment. My thoughts labored on the situation beyond my control. I was called to teach Institute to young adults in my church. The new challenge took my mind away from my ruminations. Over time I saw divine compensation open to me as I learned to work with the Holy Ghost and applied myself to learning. What had wrenched my heart, now seemed less important. 
    Learning to shepherd my thoughts has come as compensation for dealing with physical limitations. I am consciously aware that my inner world is still undeveloped. There is peace there, and hope, and faith. This month of November I am more mindful of gratitude and divine compensation is something for which I feel so thankful.

November is a month for paying attention to my level of gratitude. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- Drive By

“Love makes you see a place differently, just as you hold differently an object that belongs to someone you love. If you know one landscape well, you will look at all other landscapes differently. And if you learn to love one place, sometimes you can also learn to love another.” 

― Anne Michaels, Fugitive Pieces

I drive by, now and then. This house was the beginning. It was a time of radical change. We moved from the city to an island. More a lark than determined decision, this island is where I have planted roots.

     Our first house sits on a bluff overlooking the water. With widely spaced eyes and a little top hat on the roof, the house has not changed much in all these years. Only two families have lived there since we did. My stay here was short and difficult.  When the tumult and confusion became overwhelming, I came to the swing on the back porch. The beauty saved me. As I invite the long ago moments to come back to my mind, I surrender to the truth that I have a home here on this rock. I never thought we would stay but here we are almost thirty years later.

Coming soon! 31 Days of Writing in October

Stories of Island Living

Mindful Monday- Inviting The Moment To Be Sick

There is one consolation in being sick; and that is the possibility that you may recover to a better state than you were ever in before. 

Henry David Thoreau 

  This month I am inviting the moment, not seizing it, but inviting it to bloom. My moment lasted several days as I looked out to my kitchen from the couch. I was sick. First there was the killer sore throat. I hate the uncomfortableness of the raw sensation when swallowing. The upside is trying out new throat lozenges. I may have grown out of the black cherry flavor which I loved as a child.

         

    
    Then there is the running nose which is so annoying when you are bending over. I let my nose just run and wore a bib. Sorry, is this too much information? Can't say that having a stuffed up nose is pleasant but I did rejoice when my nostrils had time to breathe free. Every once in a while they would clear and I would recall the joy of breath.
   Reading a great book is a wonderful upside of being sick. I do believe I finished two. They transported me to Canada and Florida where the characters had much more difficult issues that just being sick. And, I joined a new service that runs old and new Hallmark movies. The sugary sweet interchanges were just right for those moments when I invited a short nap. Upon regaining consciousness the characters were still swearing their undying love.
     My energy must be returning because typing this has been most enjoyable. Auf weidersehen sickness. DON'T COME BACK SOON!  

  

      Join me in October for 31 Days of Writing-

 Stories of Island Living

  Almost 30 years ago we decided to move to an island. Technically England is an island but our island is very small by comparison. 

   

Mindful Monday- Sit And Know You Are Sitting

    This month I am "inviting the moment" as often as I remember. Some of that entails sitting and knowing that I am sitting. We might call that being grounded. A definition of grounded is mentally and emotional stable: admirably sensible, realistic, and unpretentious. I think I'll settle on the mentally and emotionally stable. The picture below is an example of what my mind looks like sometimes. The dishes are not ordered and seem ready to slip away. 

                           They are not grounded

   A day ago while standing in a line at the bank, I watched a new teller interact with customers. He perched himself on a stool slightly askew, hunching forward to see the computer screen. Every few seconds he looked behind him and over to the side at the other tellers. When I arrived at the desk he delayed making eye-contact with me, taking my paper work and sorting through it. Suddenly, he thrust his hand over the desk and said, "I'm Michael, how are you?" Without waiting for a reply, he continued sorting and looking around. My thought was that this experience was making him feel very ungrounded. I introduced myself and forced him to make eye-contact. He smiled back thinly. 
   Being grounded means placing our weight evenly. If we are sitting, it is sitting deliberately and feeling our place, in the moment. Present moment awareness slows down our mind. It invites breath to slow our heart. In those seconds we know we are sitting, or standing, or lying down. It brings us back to "now."
    I had a moment yesterday at the piano. While teaching my left hip felt a sudden pain. I invited a moment to regain my groundedness. I actually said in my mind, "sit and know you are sitting." This provided space for me to adjust my posture which was compromising my left side. I came back to my student in just seconds but with a more grounded mental and physical state. 

               Invite the moment to come back to now

  This month I am being more mindful of the moment. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- Invite The Moment

                                        Carpe Diem

    I wanted to entitle this month's mindfulness pursuit "seize the moment", but seizing sounded too controlling. Really it is about inviting the moment to bloom by giving it full attention. 

   Making art is a portal to inviting the moment. It begins when I look at papers and choose patterns that like being close to each other. With each random tearing, a puzzle emerges where the pieces intertwine and cozy up to each other. There comes a moment when the papers seem balanced and I know to stop.

   It seems that one color rises up to become most important. In this piece the color was called Chipped Sapphire. Using this color so predominately invited a second color to come forth as contrast. The peachy, beige tones harmonized with the patterned paper. By painting a third of the painting with a lighter color I invited serenity.

   Words are usually part of my art. Whether they are hand lettered, stenciled, or stamped, there is beauty in words as well as a message. My eyes just naturally go to words on a painting. They continually remind me and buoy me up.

             Wisdom is a word that swirls around in my head lately. She comes from a quiet place. Therefore choosing to let her speak is important. She will not speak from a reactive place so I try to be grounded. That is hard for me and requires practice. I love that the Old Testament refers to wisdom as a woman. Remember how Solomon knew the heart of the real mother when he suggested cutting the child in half? He was using the feminine intuition from which  wisdom springs. What he suggested was not logical or reasonable but he knew he could appeal to the mother's love and she would give up her child rather than see it come to harm.

"Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of thy mouth. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee; love her, and she shall keep thee. Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding."

                                                               Proverbs 4:5-7 

    This month I am being more mindful of the moment. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- The Stories of Our Marriage

   This month I set out to become more mindful of my husband and then each Monday write about what I am learning. I knew I was often dismissive of his ideas. I often tune him out which causes him to repeat many stories over and over again because eventually I hear all the parts and recall the whole. These stories are not fiction. They are history lessons and economic lectures which he tells in massive detail. I am a global learner and if I can't see the whole picture quickly I get bogged down by the detail. My goal this month has been to hear him more. I know I can't be perfect but I want to be more present with him.

    Yesterday I watched him dish out food, which he had prepared, around the table of friends. Instead of just bringing dinner he decided we should bring the dinner to their home and eat with them. Our friend was just home from the hospital and they had a kitchen under renovation. I listened as my husband described the ingredients, apologizing for the smallness of the roast. (I purchased the roast for two.) He was enjoying the details of the meal. Our friends saw his service and showed deep appreciation. It was a lovely dinner and we had good conversation, history topics, of course. 
   Being at ease in conversation attracted me to Mark. I was dating his roommate when we met. While my date was studying or talking on the phone, I talked to Mark. He challenged me to think more logically and in more depth. Soon I realized that I was spending more time with Mark than with his roommate. After we got married we often spent the day in long conversations. The children would come and go from our bedroom, asking questions, and complaining that we were still talking. Much of the change I have made in myself came from recalling information from our conversations. He is my anchor and I take him for granted. There is wisdom in my taking more time to be attentive of our relationship. Mindfullness, in general, is making me a better wife, mother and grandmother. 


      This month I am being more mindful of my husband. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- Attentiveness

   This month I am being more mindful of my husband. It is part of my year long exploration of mindfulness. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.


   When I picked my husband as my focus this month I knew I would feel awkward. The awkwardness would start when I wrote about how attentive he is to me. He really is! And, has been for years. It is one of his best characteristics but I have not been mindful, paying close attention, to this trait because I want to be the object of his attention but I don't, at the same time. What is it with women? We want to be desired but we feel pressured when we are the center of a man's attention. 

    "Because, even though the world is full of normal and pretty women, the world we see – the world of television, films, magazines and websites – is full of women who are top-of-the-scale beauties. 

And right now, in the second decade of the 21st century, the situation is more extreme than ever. If you're a woman, a huge proportion of your role models are beautiful. So if you’re normal looking, you feel ugly. And if you’re merely pretty, men feel free to comment on how un-beautiful you are."

     William Leith, "The Telegraph" 

     My husband thinks I'm beautiful. There I said it. I believe him but, I think he is biased. What? Who cares what any other person thinks? At this point I must confess this post is becoming more about me than him. To his credit, I am becoming more aware that my husband is really wonderful in giving me feedback about his attraction to me. And I am opening up to the idea that that is pretty great.

Mindful Monday- Grit

              Grit is courage and resolve, strength of character

I married a man with grit. Paying attention to him this last weekend showed me again how much grit he displays. At first appearance he seems quirky in his camo clothing. Is he trying to stand out or blend into his environment? There is no military connection to his love of camouflage wear. It has to do primarily with the inexpensive price and quality of product it affords. When I stopped buying him clothing, this new trend appeared. I admit, at first I was chagrined. But then I realized he had a certain aesthetic. He likes certain patterns for summer and others for winter. There is khaki and then there is green. He wears them purposely to match the weather.

    My husband thinks and analyses very carefully before deciding what he will embrace. It may take him months But once resolved, he rarely waffles. And having a differing opinion from others does not bother him. We disagree on many things but he is not reactive. It takes a lot for him to get agitated and angry. But if he does, you can bet that it will be based on logic and reason.

   I believe one of the reasons I married him was because he showed very little weakness. I was used to that male behavior in my home. But, my father was very reactive and my husband seemed decidedly less so. That was attractive. As I got older I chose to explore more vulnerability and found he did not shy away from those conversations. As I pushed and prodded myself to embrace being vulnerable,  he listened and came along in the journey. On Friday we traveled through a section of Washington where last year we listened to "Rising Strong" by Brené Brown in the car on a similar road trip. The concepts came rushing into my head and the conversations we had that day felt sweetly comforting. He listens and wants to understand because he has strength of character. I am lucky to have found him and feel it a tender mercy that I heeded the inner voice, telling me to hitch my star to his wagon. Or, is it the opposite? Did I hitch my wagon to his star?

 This month I am being more mindful of my husband. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- A Faithful Narrative

      Every Sunday afternoon my husband writes a newsletter, which he e-mails to family members. Sometimes he writes notes on Saturday to help remember what he wants to write about. His newsletter started before I began writing a blog, so that is more than five years ago. In a big comfy office chair, he settles down for a hour or so to review the week past. If an activity interrupts this event he complains about not getting his newsletter out. 
      I don't always read it, I confess. His writing style is somewhat like a reporter giving the news of the week. His favorite topics include his work, economic concerns, his latest projects on rebuilding target shooting guns, and lastly, reports on what family members are doing. That is where he gets into trouble. He needs to employ a facts checker. If you ask him why his story lacks accuracy he jokingly replies that he enjoys writing fiction. 

“A well-thought-out story doesn’t need to resemble real life. Life itself tries with all its might to resemble a well-crafted story.” 

― Isaac Babel

    All of our children have complained about being the subject of their father's  stories. They prefer reading about their siblings lives rather than their own. Resentment about misrepresentation has sometimes resulted in angry e-mails. But, he is undaunted. I am mindful of the importance this habit has in his life. His intention is not to falsify truth. Reviewing his own experiences and the in and outs of family life are most enjoyable to him. 
      Writing is cathartic. Some of us write morning pages or journal entries. Some hide their writing and never intend to share and others publish their stories for posterity. I wonder at my own motivation for writing a blog. What good will come of it? That question is easily answered when I read the narratives of my deceased parents and grandparents. They live on through their words. I receive great strength from reading their stories. When they write about me I hear their love even when their perception of me is less than favorable. It reveals what they valued and sought after. I learn so much in knowing. 
      When I see my husband sitting before his computer, with the strange backward clock hanging above, I smile. He is quirky and eccentric and that is precisely why I married him. I am often the subject of his stories. I get my nose bent out of shape when he reveals something about me that I don't particularity like in myself. But, more often he praises and projects me in a light of someone he cherishes. Wait, I haven't read yesterday's installment. 


   This month I am being more mindful of my husband. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.
    

Mindful Monday- Married For Forty-Two Years

                                         Do you know everything about your spouse?

   Being mindful means paying close attention. Is there a better relationship to be mindful in than my marriage? No!

                             Mindfulness offers us the space for greater discernment.

  As the years go by it is easy to define our relationship in a certain way. I like this and he likes that. We do this together and this apart. We agree here and disagree there. Our mindset can become fixed which closes the space available in a living relationship. Mindfulness opens up new ways of seeing each other.
   Last week during a shopping trip, my husband and I ended up at a mattress store. I was surprised by his willingness to try out new mattresses. I payed attention to his playfulness as we pretended to be awed by each more expensive style. To my utter surprise he told me to go ahead and do the paper work for the one we both loved. And, then, he promptly took a nap. We have a new mattress, which is wonderful, but I believe that decision came about because I was being mindful of him and watching his responses instead of steering the activities with a fixed outcome. I did not go into the store with a plan and I did not push for an outcome. I merely observed the activity.
   
This month my mindfulness practice will center on him, the man I married forty-two years ago.

     
          



             You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- What I've Learned About My Spiritual Mind

                  What Does My Spiritual Mind Understand?

      This month has been an exploration of  how my mind works. Truly, I was exploring uncharted waters. Knowing very little at the start, I have some beginnings of truth.

Things I've Learned About The Spiritual Mind

-The Spiritual Mind responds to truth, D&C 93:23-24

-The Spiritual Mind is filled with intelligence, in other words, light and truth, D&C 93:36-37

-The Spiritual Mind is most accessible in Present Moment Awareness 

-The Natural Mind likes the past and the future
-The Natural Mind is unstable and inattentive to present sensory experiences

-When we betray ourselves in Present Moment Awareness we spin into past and future, justifying our thoughts and behaviors
-The Natural Mind desires to be the hero of our mental stories

   Years ago I learned the work of  C. Terry Warner. He opened my eyes to self-deception. My spirit essence responds to truth, but sometimes I do not choose to act on truth. When I stray I also set in motion the need to justify my alternate choice. With these thoughts I create self-deception. Curiosity about what is true and what is false opens up the path to allow my spirit mind to seek divine help to know "things as they really are, as they really were, and as they will be". The inward path is still strewn with weeds and the path is not well worn because I am just starting the daily practice, but I have hope. 

"Our distorted sense of right and wrong calls to us to do right toward others, to act as love dictates. Most fundamentally, we are beings bonded to one another by love. In self-betrayal we violate these bonds, deceive ourselves about who we really are, harden ourselves to what we feel is right, and live a lie. Our living connection with others calls us to let go of this lie and be who we really are."
      C. Terry Warner




           You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- The Spiritual Mind Thrives In Present Moment Awareness

Present Moment Awareness is a mindfulness term which means that we are aware of what is happening around us in the moment. 

No futurizing about events and no dredging up past issues to review. Here is where I believe the spiritual mind thrives. Here is where direction comes from the Holy Spirit most often. In comparison, the Natural Mind likes to review the past, keep score, and rationalize past behavior. It is at home in the future, as well. It dreams of better outcomes, more enjoyment without the hassles of the now, and an inflated, better self.

With our Spiritual Mind in Present Moment Awareness we.

"often have a sense that something is right or wrong for us to do-a sense, for example, that we should or shouldn't treat some person or living thing in a certain way. We have only to pay attention in our everyday experiences to notice ourselves having such feelings about how we should act."

C. Terry Warner, Bonds That Make Us Free 

   As long as we respond to these feelings we can stay aware. But, once we choose to ignore these feelings then a self-betrayal, of sorts, emerges and a series of mental gyrations take over. To make it okay within us to choose not to respond openheartedly, we must self-justify our actions.

"We cannot betray ourselves without setting into motion all manner of emotional trouble."

Take for instance the father who hears his baby crying at night and feels that he should see to her needs. He has a choice, respond to the inclination to help his child or ignore her and allow his wife to deal with her. If he ignores his child he will have to set in motion these stories to feel good about himself. He has to get up early and his wife stays home all day. He has an important meeting in the morning and needs his sleep. He handled the baby on the weekend, it is her turn. Justifications layer one self-deception upon another. 

These stories play in our minds outside of Present Moment Awareness and are orchestrated by The Natural Mind. They keep us from being wholehearted and responding to our Spiritual Mind.

So, I meditate every morning and evening in Present Moment Awareness to not only strengthen my ability to stabilize my mind but to develop courage and stamina to respond to others in the present moment as I am directed. Does this make sense?


 You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Mindful Monday- Our Spirit Essence

"Made of light, truth, and intelligence, as well as the love inherent in that holy substance, we understand that at our deepest center there exists a reservoir of pure, selfless love which flows through each of us, like a hidden underground spring. We are love that does not yet perceive itself. The Natural Man has covered up the well and created a hard shell over the heart- but love is still there"

M.Catherine Thomas, Light In The Wilderness

   If I had a window to view my soul or my spiritual mind, what would I see or perceive?  Paul says, 'For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face.....". If my spiritual mind is made of light, truth, intelligence, and all of these qualities are infused with love, what does that mean to me?
   I understand that light is energy. There is high energy and low energy. High energy makes  my spirit and body work together in synchronicity. It feels like the sensation I get when I am playing the piano and I am in complete alignment with the steady beat. There is a lightness and ease. Low energy, on the other hand, has a stumbling, heavy feeling. I invite low energy into my mind when I entertain negative thoughts, anger, fear, or any emotions that sap energy. 
    This then brings us to truth. My spirit mind is made of truth. I can understand that low energy thinking and activities obstruct truth.  Also, the natural mind can make the truth hazy due to experiences I have not dealt with. But, in my spirit essence there is capacity to embrace truth.

"for the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really care, and of things as they really will be;"

                                                           Jacob 4:14 

              So what does it mean that our spirit is made of intelligence? Is it that I am smart? 

"Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be. All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence."

                                    Doctrine and Covenants 93:29

   The intelligence in my spirit has always existed. It is free to act. I can choose to resist being acted upon. I can choose to surround myself with energy of light. I can choose to understand truth. It may seem difficult through the eyes of my Natural Mind but I have power. So, where do I get that power? 

"And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul."

                                                                                                          Genesis 2:7 

  I  was created in the image of God and it is with his love, light, truth, and intelligence that I exist. I am his daughter and out of supreme love, his Son, my Savior, made it possible for me to awaken to this fact and become purified to return to a state of innocence. Through the grace of Jesus Christ I can bask in this love, abide in it, and at some future time go home to be again in the presence of my Father.

I have attempted to answer some questions I posed last week. But what am I below, or perhaps, above these layers of the Natural Mind?  What does my Spiritual Mind understand? I still know so very little but I am learning.

             You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.