"I'm okay either way. You are so very busy and we can certainly skip our study together this time."
Disappointment washed through Clara. Even though she was tired and empty she wanted to hear that getting together was essential to Sophie's happiness. But, perhaps it was not. After all, meeting once a week to study was far and beyond what she had ever asked from a friend. Yet, they had managed more than a year of weekly appointments. Some weeks Clara studied the material early on but other times cramming at 6:00am was the only option. By now three notebooks were filled with inspiring quotes and thoughtful ideas.
"Alright, I suppose it is wise for me to take some time to rest before I go to work." Clara felt her heart drop. What did she really need? What was Sophie hinting at? The grade school mentality rose and she entertained the idea that she was not all that important to her friend. A imaginary road opened up before her eyes. There was a fork in the road. She had an opportunity to make a choice. She could pull in and feel rejected which would lead to a small wound the next time they got together, or, she could drive over to her friend's house and speak the truth.
Clara knocked and waited. As Sophie turned the corner from the kitchen into the hallway she smiled.
"I need you more than I need a nap or down time," Clara laughed sheepishly. "Can we talk?"
As we hustle for worthiness in this mixed up world, one thing I'm learning is that I am worthy of love and belonging and when I approach you from that place of worthiness, you become worthy of the same.