I married a man with grit. Paying attention to him this last weekend showed me again how much grit he displays. At first appearance he seems quirky in his camo clothing. Is he trying to stand out or blend into his environment? There is no military connection to his love of camouflage wear. It has to do primarily with the inexpensive price and quality of product it affords. When I stopped buying him clothing, this new trend appeared. I admit, at first I was chagrined. But then I realized he had a certain aesthetic. He likes certain patterns for summer and others for winter. There is khaki and then there is green. He wears them purposely to match the weather.
My husband thinks and analyses very carefully before deciding what he will embrace. It may take him months But once resolved, he rarely waffles. And having a differing opinion from others does not bother him. We disagree on many things but he is not reactive. It takes a lot for him to get agitated and angry. But if he does, you can bet that it will be based on logic and reason.
I believe one of the reasons I married him was because he showed very little weakness. I was used to that male behavior in my home. But, my father was very reactive and my husband seemed decidedly less so. That was attractive. As I got older I chose to explore more vulnerability and found he did not shy away from those conversations. As I pushed and prodded myself to embrace being vulnerable, he listened and came along in the journey. On Friday we traveled through a section of Washington where last year we listened to "Rising Strong" by Brené Brown in the car on a similar road trip. The concepts came rushing into my head and the conversations we had that day felt sweetly comforting. He listens and wants to understand because he has strength of character. I am lucky to have found him and feel it a tender mercy that I heeded the inner voice, telling me to hitch my star to his wagon. Or, is it the opposite? Did I hitch my wagon to his star?
This month I am being more mindful of my husband. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.