If Shame is Driving, Blame is Riding Shotgun- Daring Greatly #6

    I am a recovering blamer. It is not pretty to say that but nevertheless, it is true. When life gets hard I turn to blaming someone for circumstances that are often random.
"Blame is simply the discharging of pain and discomfort." But the consequences are not simple and can lead to disconnection between the people we love. It is very hard to stay vulnerable and open when a family member is consistently blaming us for things that go wrong. I had a huge epiphany years ago when it was suggested that I assume that my husband or child, is doing the best they can. That had never occurred to me as even being possible. But, on the other hand, my own mistakes are rarely made with intent and malice to do harm so could that also be true for others?
    The rumbling of the big garbage truck comes into my conscious mind and I don't hear him stop. Oh no, not again! He forgot to take out the trash. Right there, in this second, two roads open up. On the left, wide and well traveled, is the road of blame. "I can't believe he did it again. Because of his thoughtlessness, we will have trash lined up all along the side of the house. Our neighbors will be convinced we are white trash."
  On the right, a road, small and narrow, is the pathway less traveled. "He had a lot to remember this morning. What can I do to make this work? I'll just check to see if it costs too much more for a second can next week. I should leave him a note on his lunchbox."
   That road on the right is a happier place, but it takes some effort to traverse it's length. It means taking more responsibility for what happens to me. It is a road for grown-ups.

                             Happy new year and may we dare to live a life for grown-ups. Daring Greatly by Brene Brown is really helpful for just this kind of new year's resolution.