Procrastination

      Today was a glorious sunny day. Day two of writing a long overdue piece of music commenced. Four years ago I received a beautiful poem by a colleague and friend. She wanted music to turn the poem into a song. I let the words rumble around in my head. While playing music one day at church I heard a lovely melody in my head. Grabbing my phone I recorded the music. I sent that recording to my friend and she validated the music as just what she hoped for. I knew she would want me to notate the song. But, I was busy. I stayed busy for four years.

I went back to the music occasionally and just could not connect. The work of notating takes a kind of concentration that leaves me very vulnerable. I have to be "all in" the process. It seems I get inspiration in tiny nuggets. All the nuggets together still do not complete the music. The rest comes from just plain hard work, real hard work. The kind that makes time slow down. I forget that I'm stiff, tired, and needing to do other things. It often feels dis-orienting.

    But still, creating is remarkable. When the piece is finished it is amazing. And it will be finished by this weekend. I promised. I needed to come back to composing after all the painting. When I painted my mailbox I remembered my first love.