Your character communicates who she is through her physical actions.
I just finished a writing class and one of the critiques I received many times was to "show not tell". That seems obvious but not easy. Another level of observation starts when I imagine how my characters are moving or how they are physically responding. In Rubato, my mystery novel, I have a pragmatic, logical thinking male homicide detective who is more smart than macho. He is working with a right brained, feeling partner who once aspired to be a concert pianist. They have a case where her knowledge of the music world gives her an upper hand. Below is a scene where they are together eating dinner after a long day. Do I have enough description of their actions to show you more of who they are?
Stevie continued through to the kitchen and he heard her open a fridge. He walked through the living room and beyond into what was surely a music room. Open french doors with gauzy curtains separated the two spaces. He was drawn to the piano and gently touched the black and white keys. There was a grandeur to the shiny black instrument. He moved his hands across the smooth surface. The black body seemed to be longer than his car.
“This is a big piano.” he said, hearing Stevie come in.
“It is my mother’s six foot concert grand.” She joined Reggie on the piano bench. He could smell her light citrus perfume.
“What is a trouble clef?” he asked.
“You mean the coat rack?” Stevie laughed. “It isn’t trouble but treble and it's a musical sign that indicates higher notes on the staff. My mother had the large wooden one made to amuse her piano students.”
A blue music booklet entitled, Consolations by Franz Liszt, lay open to view on the stand in front of them.
Reggie reached up and touched the book."Have you been playing his music?”
“I have. These pieces called Consolations have been rumbling around my head throughout the last few days.”
“Does this Liszt guy offer consolation to the nasty work of murder?”
“Surprisingly, he does.” Stevie stood and took his arm firmly, nudging Reggie to his feet. “Come on into the kitchen. I’m reheating some lasagna from Sunday.”
The kitchen had bright yellow walls and frilly patterned curtains. A round kitchen table was nestled into the bay window which looked out to the garden. Reggie thought that his mother would have loved a kitchen just like this. The garden outside was barely discernible as dusk fell.
“I can’t get used to the fact that it’s dark at 5:00 o'clock. It feels like the middle of the night.” Reggie said.
Stevie handed him two placemats and two white china plates.
“Can you grab two glasses out of the cupboard there?” With her head she motioned to the cupboard by the sink. She balanced a steaming platter of noodles with sauce and cheese in her hands.
He carefully brought the glasses to the table and seated himself across from Stevie.
“You look hungry. Let me dish you up a big plate.”
“Looks really good. Thank you.” He suddenly felt a little self-conscious eating in front of his work partner. Reggie picked up his fork and without further hesitation commenced devouring the food. It was delicious and it’s warmth made him relax.
“You have a tiny splat of tomato sauce on your lip.” She picked up her napkin but Reggie saw her stop herself from bringing the napkin to his face.
“I’ve got it.” he said,as he brushed the napkin across his mouth.
*********************************************************
A piano teacher is found dead and a lost autograph manuscript of Franz Liszt is discovered. Who wanted that document enough to kill?
Click here to read the book for free for a limited time.
No comments:
Post a Comment
What do you think?