Writing Wednesday- Dialog

"The reward comes in the unexpected inspiration."

Journal of A Novel, Elizabeth George

My novel Rubato has a great deal of dialog. I'm learning that dialog, well crafted, can reveal the attributes of the characters. The way they talk and the words they use give insight into their thoughts.

Here is a small segment of an interview with my two detectives.

     Reggie was propped up against the dirty wall of the precinct, one leg wrapped around the other, anchoring him to the floor in a straight line. His blue eyes brightened when he saw her. 

   “Took you long enough.” He said. “Horak is in there and he looks agitated. Do you want to take the lead and tell him about his wife?”

    “Sure.” She turned the doorknob firmly and walked in without hesitation.

     Dominik Horak sat awkwardly upright in a black plastic chair. Reggie noticed that his charcoal gray suit still looked pressed at the end of the day. His round face seemed even more rounded by the bowl shaped haircut. Strands of hair fell across his forehead, matted with perspiration. 

    “Mr. Horak?” Stevie held out her hand. “I’m Detective Dangerfield and this is my partner Detective Watts. We need to ask you a few questions about your wife, Judith Whitesides.”

   “What about Judith? Has something happened to her?”

   “When did you last see her?”

    “Yesterday around noon. I rented a vehicle at the airport and came to the island to bring her my luggage. She was teaching all afternoon and evening so I told her I would stay in the city until Saturday. What has happened? “ Dominik pressed his hands into his lap and searched the faces of the detectives. 

   “We are so very sorry to tell you that your wife is dead.” Reggie watched the reaction of Mr. Horak while Stevie delivered this information. “She was found dead by the mother of a piano student. The cause of death is still unknown. We won’t know what happened until we receive a full report from the medical examiner.”

   Dominik stood and leaned forward with both hands on the table.

   “If you think I had anything to do with this, you are wrong. I just arrived from Prague and only spent a few minutes with her. She was fine and very busy with her students.”

   “Sit down, Mr. Horak.” Reggie said. “We are not accusing you of anything. We need information to figure out what happened. Please, make yourself comfortable.” Reggie looked to Stevie to continue her questions.

    What I hope this dialog reveals is the work relationship between my detectives. One is the senior detective but I hope you can see that his partner as an equal partner. 

   I am trying to weed out weak taglines. Taglines are "words that precede, interrupt, or follow the dialog." I am one of those novice writers who thought that adverbs were my friend. "Hello!" she said blatantly. According to good writing craft the word blatantly is a reader's bump. It calls attention to itself. So, the actual dialog should give the information that her 'hello' was blatant. That is the challenge.

   "When the writing is really doing it's job, the reader will be aware that someone is shouting, snarling, moaning, or groaning. The scene will build up to it, so the writer doesn't have to use obvious words to indicate the manner in which the speaker is speaking."

                 Elizabeth George, Write Way

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And, I thank-you for reading my mystery novel, Rubato. Judith, a piano teacher extraordinaire, makes a decision which, upon reflection, changes the lives of others and ends her own life. Detectives Stevie Dangerfield and Reggie Watts investigate her death and find musical intrigue that started in Eastern Europe.

Click here to read the book for free for a limited time.