This is the same as…. I am in a snow storm and I am going to die.
I was crouched into the space with my feet. My eyes were closed tight, heart racing, sweat starting at the base of my neck. My husband was driving and five kids were in the back of the car. The last time my eyes were open we were on a road with a hillside on my right and a drop of one hundred feet on the left side of the car. A snowstorm was raging outside and visibility was low. I was preparing to die.
Today all snowstorms bring on the same physical feelings. It is trauma. It is a story I tell without rationale or logic. I have other stories with which I rumble. The swamp of my emotions is dark and sticky. I go in with armor which I realize will not protect me but,….the swamp holds redemption. There is one who will meet me there.
"The spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be.
Jacob 4:13
I can identify. About 20 years ago, I was in an accident and flipped a car on ice. Even now, when I feel the car slide just a little, I go back there in my mind. Thanks for sharing, and praying for God's peace for you
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ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by my page,...and its amazing how we can flash back to traumas in our lives, when something happens that is the same or similar...Two years ago I was involved in an armed robbery, home invasion and for some reason the image of that particular confrontation is red in my mind...Every time I see a read light or even red glow, I have a flashback to that gun and those people threatening me...Thanks for sharing...
Oh Gabriele, you described trauma so well...I'm just learning to deal (in therapy) with how to overcome the flashbacks I get when I'm confronted by my triggers...it's hard, very very hard...(I often wonder why the brain doesn't have some way of bypassing this? It's surely not useful in any adaptive way, as the danger has passed...perhaps its a software error....)....[Have loved seeing your IG photos and so glad we have connected there!!!!]
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