For fifty years I have searched for control, outside of me and inside of me. The search was fruitless and I was aware of that but yet, on occasion when life unfolded my way, I clutched the credit to my chest. I longed for a particular outcome, then worked on manifesting that outcome, and then rejoiced when it was so. This mindset made clutching my hands into fists, holding my shoulders tightly together, and clenching my jaw, a daily occurrence. So much control and so much insecurity about the truth of the control made me physically sick.
Equanimity is my new favorite word. I wish to have that quality of mind. With it I breathe deeper, rest easier, and care more deeply.
I have been writing with the Five Minute Friday Group for more than two years and I really enjoy the talented writers
I like the definition of equanimity. I definitely relate to the searching for control but there have also been moments of equanimity when I have felt very calm in a situation where the natural response would be panic. I think trusting God is the key and knowing that even when it's out of our control it's not out of his.
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