Daring Greatly #1

     Earlier this morning I was sitting in a dentist chair having a filling repaired. The assistant asked if I would like to try "laughing gas" and I started to shake my head, when I remembered the neck pain I experienced during my hour long exam three weeks prior. I thought I was relaxed and my neck begged to differ. What the heck, I said, I would try it to see if it would curb the edge of panic when they put in the dam into my mouth. I had my i-pod with me and I intended to listen to an interview with Brene Brown while I endured. So here I lay, breathing in gas, and listening to a shame and fear researcher talk about her book Daring Greatly. In a nutshell, this book is about how we can become more resilient against the shame and fear triggers in our lives. Breathing in Nitrous Oxide is not her recommended antidote. I love the irony! Enough about my dentist visit, I really want to talk about Daring Greatly.

     Many on my Christmas list will be receiving a copy, I ordered them in bulk. Why, because I have been changed by this topic and by the way Brene Brown writes. In several posts I will go through the exercise of writing my summaries of her main ideas. Perhaps you will feel that I said enough and you won't read it now, or it will convince you to get a copy. Shame is a loaded word and fear comes in a close second. I didn't think I felt shame but I knew fear and sometimes it stopped me from trying things.   Reading more helped me to see that I am also acquainted with shame. It is that dark feeling of not quite being enough, of thinking others see you as less, and of feeling unlovable as you really are. It stinks! It is a deception and I am standing up against succumbing to it as well as using it as a way of handling people. Shame therapy shows up in all walks of life, in our schools, churches, and in our homes. It is not guilt. Guilt comes from something you may have done, shame comes from who you think you are. In this first post I want to write about what Brene found accidentally as she interviewed countless people. The antidote to shame is vulnerability. That took me by surprise. You would think that to counteract shame one would armor up and be tougher, But the opposite is true. The people who feel the least amount of shame and fear are those who are the most open to vulnerability. And this gift leads them to live open, wholehearted lives. This is a bit to chew on and my jaw is still numb from the dentist so I will close with the link to the interview which filled my head this morning and encourage you to listen. Please? Just click on Radio podcast in the left top corner. Link here.