In these 31 Days of October I am unpacking my learning from the book, Braving The Wilderness, by Brené Brown. She has been a favorite author for years. In this new publication she manages to build a sidewalk and curb in the wilderness where we can bravely tread.
In this current climate civility is often abandoned. Strangers attack each other on the internet, acquaintances pressure each other to reveal their opinions under threat of shame and many of us just refuse to contribute. It feels like a wild wilderness. How do we stay involved when the gifts of shame are shared so frequently?
Is it possible to stay civil while communicating our deepest fears and concerns to those who disagree with us? Here is a definition of civility.
- Civility is claiming and caring for one's identity, needs, and beliefs without degrading someone else's in the process
- Civility is about disagreeing without disrespect, seeking common ground as a starting place for a dialogue about differences
- Listening past one's preconceptions, and teaching others to do the same
- Civility is the hard work of staying present even with those with whom we have deep-rooted and fierce disagreement
I'm remembering a story from the Book of Mormon about a man named Ammon who cared very deeply about the false information harbored by his enemies for generations. He braved the wilderness by going to live among the Lamanites and first become their servant. As he came to understand them he grew to respect them and finally gained their trust in order to teach them about the false notions they had about the Nephites. He was a man of deep courage.
Learning to disagree without disrespect is so important. If we would make time to listen to others' views instead of just criticising them I think culture would be very different.
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