I Am Finished

 The Last Round of Western Medicine Treatment For Breast Cancer is Complete

Today is my last infusion of Herceptin, a target drug which blasts the Her-2 protein in my breast cancer cells. That protein receptor makes this kind of breast cancer very deadly. I have taken it for a year, every three weeks. Approved by the FDA more than twenty years ago it has given women with my diagnosis a fighting chance at a cure. I feel very grateful to Dr. Dennis Salmon and his fellow researchers who believed that an antibody could be created to attack Her-2Neu protein. Many women before me entered trials to test the drug through various stages. To them I am grateful and mourn those who could not participate and get the opportunity I have given. Activists who believed in this drug made lots of noise in front of drug companies and it's investors to bring this to the marketplace. I am a recipient of a legacy of hope.

Today I feel cancer free. Is it so? 

    No one can wave a wand over me and declare there is not one breast cancer cell in my body. So there is one more treatment I must take for the rest of my life. The scientific data is clear. A plant based diet combined with exercise everyday provides a 60% chance of not having a return of this cancer, I will persist in doing due diligence. I know the results of this treatment, which is entirely in my hands, will provide the best outcome for my future.

“Breast cancer is a pandemic concern, and the numbers sure prove it. In the United States alone, 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer at some point in their lives.” 

― Kristi Funk, Breasts: The Owner's Manual: Every Woman's Guide to Reducing Cancer Risk, Making Treatment Choices, and Optimizing Outcomes

You can read more about my breast cancer journey here.

The Promises To Covenant Israel

"So imagine my delight when I was led recently to a new insight. With the help of two Hebrew scholars, I learned that one of the Hebraic meanings of the word Israel is “let God prevail.” Thus the very name of Israel refers to a person who is willing to let God prevail in his or her life. That concept stirs my soul!"

President Russel M. Nelson, Oct. 2020 General Conference

With that phrase I started a six month study of the promises to covenant Israel. What did I learn?

First of all I realized that my understanding of the Abrahamic  covenant was very superficial. I was satisfied with talking about the four key promises that I had remembered from my gospel learning. If Israel would let Jehovah be their God, He would bless them with posterity, property, priesthood, and purpose.

Oh my, this study helped me see that I had limited God so much by defining his promises into a formula.

                             "And what is the Lord willing to do for Israel? 

As you study your scriptures during the next six months, I encourage you to make a list of all that the Lord has promised He will do for covenant Israel. I think you will be astounded! Ponder these promises. Talk about them with your family and friends. Then live and watch for these promises to be fulfilled in your own life." 

President Russel M. Nelson

The illuminated manuscript above made by Eva Timothy is an illustration some of  the promises made to Israel. The promises are powerful, strengthening, encompassing, intimate, and gut- wrenchingly beautiful

       A God who Provides, Promises, and Prevails

Throughout all the standard works he assures, gives evidence, and invites us to act with faith on these promises.

                                      "I have heard thy prayer."

 

My prayer throughout the last six months has been to understand better, to hear more, to see more.

Before I start another six month study, this time on increasing faith, I wanted to record how much more I see God's love. I have gathered in all his love language and wish to speak it more fluently.

"Let God Prevail In Your Life."

Waiting On The Lord

C.S. Lewis expressed the sadness of the time after the death of the Aslan, who is symbolic of the Savior, so eloquently in The Witch, The Lion and The Wardrobe".. 

"I hope no one who reads this book has been quite as miserable as Susan and Lucy were that night; but if you have been - if you've been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you - you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing is ever going to happen again..."

Psalms 27:13

 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Those who loved him endured an awful waiting. Waiting is a mortal experience. Uncertainty washes over us and our unruly minds go wild with the "what if's". What if this is the end of the teachings of Jesus. What if the Jewish authorities come after all the new Christians? What if the Romans come after them? How will we live without the comfort of Jesus? What if?

What if........it is true?

What if tomorrow he rises from the dead?

Other Days In This Last Week
Sunday
Monday-
Tuesday-
Wednesday-
Thursday-
Friday-
Saturday-

The Radiation Journey

          " Remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go. You may not be where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be." 

I am writing this post three months after finishing radiation. Looking back everything seems less intimidating, but, it was very challenging during the six weeks of going to radiation every weekday off island. In fact I didn't know how I could possibly cope with this ordeal. Family and friends made the difficulty bearable by driving me there and waiting. Conversation after the treatment helped me process what was happening to my body.

Tacoma Radiation has some of the best staff I have ever met. Take Jo, for example, she is a receptionist and always the first person I met. Her smile was contagious and I marveled how quickly she learned ny name. After greeting Jo every morning I would go through the big automatic doors, down the hall to the bathroom first and then on to the dressing room. There I would take off the upper clothes and put on a gown which was often too. big. There I sat with a huge sheet on and a mask covering my face waiting for a radiation therapist to take me back to the "room". At first the unrobing and getting situated on the radiation table was hugely uncomfortable. I tried being modest. There were always at least three therapists to get everything ready. The radiation beam is very focused and exact and it requires some math skills to set up the right parameters. The team leaves the room and I am alone, being observed by camera and hearing instructions on the intercom.

3-D Conformal Radiation

One of many types of radiation therapy, 3-D conformal radiation is a technique that allows doctors to direct radiation beams to conform to the shape of the tumor.

Compared with historical, 2-D radiation therapy, 3-D conformal radiation more precisely delivers radiation to cancer cells, while reducing the amount of radiation to healthy cells. This conventional form of radiation therapy is used to treat cancerous and noncancerous tumors throughout the body.

To prepare for 3-D conformal radiation, specialists use advanced technology to plot the path of multiple radiation beams that will be aimed at the tumor from different directions. During 3-D conformal radiation, the beams deliver a set treatment dose to the tumor, which is spread around the surrounding normal tissue to minimize the entrance and exit dose to any one area.

       There were certain protocols that required a breath hold of 20- 35 seconds. On my first visit to meet Doctor Pittier, the radiologist, I was told to practice holding my breath up to 45- seconds. The beam is so exact that breathing at the wrong time can alter the direction. Sometimes I still use the breath hold and do the counting of seconds while I'm resting and getting ready to sleep. It's just an intense memory.

Nothing was as wonderful as seeing the therapist come back into the room which meant it was over. The treatments lasted about ten to fifteen minutes. I became quite attached to the therapists and had some favorites. Meredith and Marshall were the best because of their quick wit and kindness. The day before Halloween was most amusing as they were all dressed up and very funny.

Cancer treatments have taught me the importance of looking outward. Everything is more bearable when you know the practitioners names and have an interest in their lives. What seems like a foreign, strange world can become warm and comfortable if you can get outside of yourself and the cancer.

I was actually very sad when the last day arrived because although I wouldn't miss the daily commute, I was going to miss the people who helped me and gave me respect as a person as well as a patient. 

Would you like to read more of my cancer story?

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