Reflections

I Should Have Let Go

While on a walk yesterday

With my daughter and the dog, 

  She turned and bid the dog to stay,

Handed me the leash and ran off at a jog.

 The dog whimpered and watched her go.

My daughter was looking for a lost object,

  But the anxious dog didn’t know

That her quick comeback would soon take effect.

  

 

  At that point I should have let go.

The dog saw her eminent return,

  She lurched and I was unwanted cargo.

I fell and my body felt the burn.

  This was the main lesson I learned,

Some things we clutch onto, need release,

  We don’t need to be concerned 

Or be in control, let holding cease. 

  Reflecting on the year gone by I see that I have made progress in my spiritual life, my relationships, my health, and in my business. Nothing is perfect but my intentions are clear and I took many forward steps. I still have unrealized dreams, plans that are in my head but as Beth Kempton says in Calm Christmas,

 " Now after all that thinking about your dreams, its time to let go. Really! It can be powerful to think about your intention carefully, then just let it go. This allows the magic to happen. Note that 'letting go' is not synonymous with 'giving up'. Rather it means loosening your grip so that your dream is free to take it's own shape."

 Loosening your grip also lets the Holy Ghost guide you more seamlessly. When I clutch too tightly on my vision I often push against the inspiration I receive because it doesn't look like my plan. The spirit sees further and trusting His counsel is always a better choice. Maybe not easier but better eternally.

 A calm Christmas moves us into a calmer year.

                                                                                      

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Savor The Hush

Savor the Hush

  Now it is finally over.

The last minute shopping,

 The run and fetch, like Rover,

Meal prep and endless chopping.

  No guests are expected,

No visits to make,

  Hopefully no one neglected,

Time to nurse the backache.

 Still, I am a little sad.

And I really don’t know why.

  Plans looked finished on the notepad,

But what does this emptiness signify?

 Perhaps I need to process,

What did I learn about those I love?

  Where did I extend myself to bless?

“You did well,” I hear from heaven above. 

I don't always listen to the positive messages from above. Why do I hear criticism better than praise? That little sadness after Christmas is not from above. Let me compare it to the paperwhite blossom in the kitchen. It struggled to grow, up, up, up, and then finally produced the most beautiful cluster of white. The downside of this blossom is it's strong scent. 

                                                         "It stinks! Throw it out!," I hear. 

I have a cold so my nose is plugged. I just see the glory of the bloom.

You did well, paperwhite. You reached the measure of your creation. You don't need to feel shame for what is also distinctly you. Smell is in the nose of the receiver. In the hush after Christmas you may not hear praises for your plentiful efforts but nonetheless, if your focus was placed on Him you can rest assured that you did well.

There are a few more ways to bring your calm Christmas to a peaceful end. Stay tuned.

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A Giving Tree

   It happens every year. While I am sitting next to a student at the piano they will say, "When will you get your Christmas tree?"
  "I have a tree."
   "Where?"
  "Right in front of you."
    The fact that my two foot tree has been twinkling at them throughout the lesson has escaped them. In 1998 when my grand piano was delivered into my living room it became apparent that there would never be room again for a live tree.
   "But, where do you put your presents?"
   "Under the piano."

       My beloved piano takes up half of a small room. The rest is sitting area. What is lost at Christmas is gained every other day when the sound of melody is wafting through the house.

    I never regret buying my instrument. It blesses the lives of my students as well as my own. There was a year when we had an upright in the living room as well. I did not know how to part with the piano I had since I was eight years old. I found a home and it actually resides across the street with my student.

      Life seems to be a struggle of choosing better over best. Best is often the choice that gives the most to the people we love. If the piano is a tree stand then truly this is a giving tree year round.

Christmas Past Story

        It was Christmas 1980 and it is remembered by journal entries from Marta who hosted Christmas Eve celebrations at her home in Salt Lake City, Utah. She had been a widow for three years and this celebration was important to her, important enough to write an entry in her diary before the day and after the day.

Marta is marveling at her big family

Friday the 19th of Dezember

Götz and Sigrid picked me up for a doctor's appointment. I feel a lot better now. I bought some stamps in their post office in Rosepark. Yesterday I decorated the Christmas tree and cleaned up a little bit. And my backerie is done, too. I bought some fruit in Smit's store. So most everything is in the house.

Ingo with son Jason and James in the foreground.

Now I would like to know when Ingo and his family will come. We have for a week long just fog and smog outside, just terrible.

So today is the 28 of Dezember. Christmas is over. 

Goetz and Sigrid with Peter's girls

All of my four children, with spouses, were here on Christmas Eve, and nine grandchildren and Hännchen. The dinner on the table was nice. The children were in the basement for a while and then we started the program. 

Karin singing with Kathy playing

Andrew with Gaby 6 months pregnant 

Ingo and Karin sang that nice Lullaby song and then Ingo sang "Oh Holy Night". Gaby and Kathy gave that Lullaby song again. And then we all sang together Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht. Then was the opening of the presents.

Ingo and Jason with Tante Hunni looking on

We have still read the Christmas Story in Luke in English and German. Mark and Peter did it. The children could not wait anymore.

Oma made dresses and shirts

The girls had a lot of fun in their new dresses I made. I think they like when they look all alike.

Last minute adjustment on Oma's
 work.

The first that went home was Peter's family.

Cousins Maria and Jason 

Then Götz and Sigrid. Ingo and his family went to Idaho before midnight with all their stuff and cat.

Cousins Joanne and Genevieve

Gaby and family stayed the night before going back to Provo on Christmas.

So all in all it was a nice Christmas time.

James in Oma's pajamas

I am the same age now as my mother was then. I can't help but admire her. She sewed, baked, decorated, cleaned and cooked. She was the heart of our Christmas. Remembering past Christmas stories is part of a calm Christmas.

 

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Mindful Giving

                                                                                               Presence

  Everyone is buying presents

Ordering, combing the store shelves,

  But perhaps missing the essence

Of what makes us love the elves.

  The elves are busy in the workshop,

They are in the presence of the giver.

   And their Christmas making doesn’t stop 

Until everyone has something to deliver.

   The giver doesn’t always bring stuff

Sometimes he brings his very presence.

   To many this is better than fluff

  Because we learn of his divine patience.

                                                                                          

 I find gifting difficult. In saying this it may reveal my selfish nature. I want to find the perfect gift but most often I end up giving something I'd like to have. Each season I try to find the way around my ineptness. Two years ago I experimented with a new idea. I took two visiting grandchildren to a quaint country store in my town. I told them that I wanted to support this local seller so they could take their time and find something that they loved. A budget was set and off we went. The store sold a variety of clothing, household gifts, specialty foods, and art supplies. I watched as they looked in every nook and corner. My grandson took a liking to a ceramic, painted pear with a detachable lid which had the stem of the pear. He fantasized about what he would put into the pear, first jam and then maybe his pencil collection. I was surprised. This was something I would never buy for him myself but he was sure about his choice. My granddaughter looked at everything but kept returning to some pink leather gloves with the softest fur around the top. Again, I wouldn't have made that choice because I didn't think she liked pink. 

What did I learn from this experience? We went together and we were in each other's presence. I watched them deliberate and make a choice. I was inspired by their choice because it revealed something about them. 

This year my husband retires. As of 2026 we will really live on a fixed budget. I worry about giving at Christmas. Again, I'm drawn to having an experience together instead of buying things. We could make unique foods together or read some excerpts from favorite books. I plan, I hope that love is the gift everyone sees. 

The Calm Christmas book lists three giving guideposts:

Is it mindful?

Is it meaningful?

Is it memorable?

I think our presence is the most meaningful gift.

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Three Symbols Of My Christmas Heritage

                           My Christmas Story of Faith grew out of my Christmas Story of Heritage

Christmas Sense

  Sappy, sticky, evergreen boughs,

A soapy smell, mingled with earth.

  Cinnamon, ginger, better somehow

When vanilla allows them birth.

  Smoky, sizzling heat from candles

Tucked into pockets of green pine,

   While Messiah music from Handel’s

Genius, lights spirit stars, as a sign,

  He is coming. I smell it, hear it,

Touch it, as I knead the dough,

  All the planing helps me commit

To receiving Him, quiet and slow.

My mother introduced three symbols of Christmas to me which still resonant for me today. The Christmas story from the Holy Bible,  the advent celebrations and wreath, and the making of Pefferkuchen, along with other baked treats.

The old German script in my mother's bible was almost impossible to read because I didn't have much training in the style. But, I loved hearing my brother read the opening lines of Luke 2.

Es begab sich aber zu der Zeit, daß ein Gebot von dem Kaiser Augustus ausging, daß alle Welt geschätzt würde.

Each Sunday before Christmas we would read from the New Testament and sometimes from the prophet Isaiah. These scriptural passages brought the anticipation for the Coming of Jesus and became a spiritual foundation for my Christmas celebration.

The advent wreath was a creative craft for my mother. Each year she gathered boughs, pinecones, and ribbons to intertwine through a wire base. Then she would wire on four new candles, one for every Sunday. 

And lastly, she gathered the long list of ingredients to make Pefferkuchen, sometimes called Lebkuchen. 

The fragrance of anise, cardamon, cinnamon, and allspice filled the kitchen. Sometimes my father would carve figures and animals out of the dough. They were prized by me when it came time to eat them. My mother stored them in the cool basement so they were made at the end of November. 

These are the ingredients of my Christmas heritage story. I improvise with these basics and make new activities each year. I like to change things now and then but my heart calls for these three symbols.

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The Story Of Abundance

Too Much

  Shall we buy a string of lights?

    Oh, no, let’s buy six.

  Shall we get some candles?

    Oh, yes, let’s get five.

  Shall we bake a pie?

     Oh, no, let’s bake four.

   Shall we get a Christmas tree

     Oh, yes, let’s buy three.

   Shall we roast a turkey?

     Oh, no, let’s do prime rib, too.

  Shall we celebrate this day together?

     Just one day? Let’s do the whole week.

The Story of Abundance is a problematic story, in my opinion. Yes, the decorating of shop windows is festive and fun. I especially enjoy driving through my tiny town at 6:00 am, when no one is there except the lights. The Bookshop has a window with a easy chair and little table piled with new books. Warm light from an antique lamp shines on the scene. The Pharmacy windows are a blaze with twinkle lights, highlighting fancy plates and decorative linens.

    But, the expectation of giving more and more leads to a franticness inside of me and a desperate feeling of inadequacy. My house is not festive enough, just look at that street of lights. My tree is not big enough, just look how our neighbor decorates. My gifts are too practical, just look how my relative creates magic for everyone.

Abundance is a positive word. It means we have more than enough and actually I live in abundance year round. Is there something of which I need more? More satiety, more outward caring, and more time with Jesus. He gives abundantly and entreats us to take His yoke upon us. That has never sounded attractive. Aren't we all part of the yoke with which He carries our weaknesses, our rebellions, our lack? Seems too much.

But yet, He says His burden is light? How can that be?

The answer seems to be LOVE.

Jesus has an abundance of love.

His love makes burdens LIGHT.

Shall we spread some love like Jesus this year?

Yes, let's give more.

"The key is to work out which elements of the story (of abundance) bring you genuine joy and them, then let go of the rest, rather than get sucked into the materialistic whirlwind."

Beth Kempton, Calm Christmas

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