The prompt for today on Ann Dee's site is not the least bit whimsical. But I decided to call my Wednesday posts Whimsical Wednesday Writings. Oh well, today I am writing about being full.
"Our problem is not really what we eat. It's why we seek fullness in something that will never satisfy. "
I have a food addiction. Food is a quick way to stem off the feelings that leave me anxious. Feeling insecure? Have a brownie to take the edge off. Feeling overwhelmed? More spaghetti will take away the crazy thoughts of scarcity. But the truth is food does not make bad things go away. In excess it dulls the senses for a short duration and then the feelings come back.
There are many side effects to my food addiction. The extra weight has compromised my genetic arthritic knees. The extra weigh makes my heart work harder. My feet have taken the load and suffered with alignment issues.
Can I come out from under the load? I'm trying to fight the battle with satisfaction, spirituality. Can I petition the spirit of God to aid my struggle? Some days it works. I yield to the prompt that I have enough. My heart feels lighter and I have confidence. Other days I am tempted and give in with relish. Really there is a very rebellious little girl inside who wants what she wants. I am grateful for each day that I am strong.
As most addictions I will battle this the rest of my life. The battle may be severe or just a constant reminder that I must be prudent.
I am joining Ann Dee Ellis and other writers in using a prompt to record memoir moments. If you don't write your story, who will?
Of course the title got my attention as we work with those in addiction. Truth is, many of us have some kind of addiction as you point out. We minimize them because their effects don't cause us to lose our jobs or families or land us in jail. I like your take that we're trying to fill something. But we keep working on it, one day at a time.
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