A Memorial

      It is a custom in our society to hold a memorial for a loved one who has passed away. A memorial service is a ritual where we can bring our deepest feelings and  place them there for safe-keeping. Bringing to the surface all the memories we have of this cherished person, we share how they interlaced with our lives. My nephew, Braden, left us too early. Just twenty-two when he exited this life, he left family and friends reeling in disbelief. We made the eight hour trek to visit his home just a few days after his passing. We arrived hesitantly, not knowing how open the wounds of loss would be for his mother, father, and three sisters. The kitchen was a hub-bub with computers, stacks of pictures, and papers revealing an excavation into this  young man's life.

GATHERING HIS LIFE

  Over the short few days before the memorial each facet of his life was recorded and artistically displayed so everyone could know him a little better.

  There was Braden the musician, a cello player, who loved music for the refinement of the soul. 

            The outdoorsman was documented who hiked, snowboarded, and loved nature. 

            Soccer cleats revealed his competitive sports pursuits. 

Friends talked about his salsa dancing and about his LDS church mission to Brazil. I came away overwhelmed by all the living he had done. 

A TIME TO REMEMBER

  His memorial was very moving for me. I felt so very alive in this moment recognizing Braden's death. The music was especially evocative of his life. A tenor, accompanied by violin and piano, sang "Be Still My Soul". Each verse grew in intensity in contrast to the words which pled for stillness and peace. The intensity of the music brought me life affirming joy. A second musical number featured a piece from the Bach Cello Suite, played by Braden's cello teacher. The single instrument echoed the "strum und drang of life". Lastly, the high school string ensemble, of which Braden had been a member, played the Sentimental Sarabande by Benjamin Britton. These students captured the soulful melancholy and simple melody of this piece. 

As I let the music surround my thoughts I thought even the flowers strained to be full of life. They were cut in their prime and had just moments to be admired before they would fade. In that moment I marveled at all life and the blessing to be fully present.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS UNITE IN LOVE

   The chapel was filled with people and the group spilled over into the gym. Everyone offered support and did all they could to honor Brad's family.

BROTHERS, SISTERS AND COUSINS

   It is often the case that a death will bring family members together who have not been together often enough. Time and distance keep us from knowing how life unfurls.

   I witnessed Braden's father, so strong, let the impact of closing the casket overcome him as he grasped his brother-in-law's hand. In that moment Braden's mother would kneel before her husband and hold both of them together. Holding others together had been her gift of grace as she thanked person after person for the work they did to make the memorial happen. Several sisters came to our table to declare their love and devotion to Braden's mother. "We will look after her," they promise,"she is a jewel." 

   "I, the Lord, have suffered the affliction to come upon them, wherewith they have been afflicted, ...Yet I will own them, and they shall be mine in that day when I shall come to make up my jewels."
A LAST GOOD-BYE
   As the memorial ended and we waved Braden off,  a sunset stretched over the valley. There in the distance was Mt. Shasta which was a favorite hiking destination. The sun goes down for him here but a sunrise looms on the other side.

  "If you really think about it, life exists only in relation to death, as light exists only in relation to dark, and sound in relation to silence. Death gives shape and meaning to our lives."

Book of Mormon Sunday II- Alma 1-7

  The Book of Alma begins with the account of Nehor, who practiced Priestcraft. Through law, the  Nephites protected themselves against the motivations of those who would lead them astray. Amlici took his intentions to a new level when he was defeated by popular vote and armed his followers. 

    Alma 2:18 "Nevertheless the Lord did strengthen the hand of the Nephites, that they slew the Amlicites with great slaughter, that they began to flee before them."

   When the Amlicites joined forces with the Lamanites, the Nephites feared destruction. Again, their cause was blessed by the Lord and they were strengthened.

   Alma 2:28 "Nevertheless, the Nephites being strengthened by the hand of the Lord, having prayed mightily to him that he would deliver them out of the hands of their enemies, therefore the Lord did hear their cries, and did strengthen them, and the Lamanites and the Amlicites did fall before them."

    Why did these clashes of opinions escalate to war? The law allowed people to hold their own opinions. No one could legally persecute another for their beliefs. However, when one faction desired to compel another group to believe with lethal force, then war was inevitable.

   Alma 3:8 "And this was done that their seed might be distinguished from the seed of their brethren, that thereby the Lord God might preserve his people, that they might not mix and believe in incorrect traditions which would prove their destruction."

   The conflicts between the Amlicites and Nephites led to huge loss of life. But, soon the Nephites reemerged with strength and many, lacking wisdom, elevated themselves in comparison to their neighbors and within the church this inequality was so pronounced that Alma gave up his judgement-seat to preach repentance.

   Alma 4:15 "And now it came to pass that Alma, having seen the afflictions of the humble followers of God, and the persecutions which were heaped upon them by the remainder of his people, and seeing all their inequality, began to be very sorrowful; nevertheless the Spirit of the Lord did not fail him."

    The preaching of Alma is powerful, so powerful that his words today speak to me and touch my spirit. Who can not be moved by the words:

"And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?"

   Drawing on the past history, Alma calls his people to remember the bondage they suffered and warns them that this same decline will bring them to destruction or to their knees in repentance.

    The people in Zarahemla were in a bad way but the next town, the people of Gideon, we're in better spiritual condition. Alma had reason to rejoice in this group of people.

   Alma 7:26 "And now my beloved brethren, I have spoken these words unto you according to the Spirit which testifieth in me; and my soul doth exceedingly rejoice, because of the exceeding diligence and heed which ye have given unto my word."

   Here is a good example how the goodness of people strengthens the missionaries who can then go to preach with more resilience.

Traveling Talent

   Hours in a car can drive me to agitation but The Knitting Queen used the time to finish some overdue projects. I watched her knit and purl from the back seat.

                      When the project was done I became the model. It sure felt cozy and so soft.

                         It isn't for me but someone is having a birthday today and I hope they like it!

If Life Were a Game to Win, Then Some of Us Would Come Out Alive.

   At the playground this Saturday my grandkids and I were playing with a great piece of equipment; a kinesthetic Tic Tac Toe board.

At one point all the X's stacked up and I saw a life lesson there. I wish someone had told me when I was young that even when you apply your best efforts your life may go terribly wrong. Somehow I got the impression that there was a formula for a charmed life. Even if you hire the best life coach the X's don't always stack up in your favor.

   Shortly after that fun on the playground we learned that our nephew had killed himself after many months of depression and despair. He was Bi-Polar, though we did not know that, and this disease takes one-third of it's victims. I have experience with that disease as my father and two brothers survived it with many limitations on their lives. A fragile mind can be destroyed by some of the assaults of life. Many of us know of others with mental illness and have seen it's effects. No matter the tragedies of someone's life there are days to celebrate and reflect upon. Each of us leave some imprint of our best selves on others and Braden Asay was no exception.

We knew him, yes, as the heart of the party. Kind, polite, and so much fun, he made us all glad to be around him. Our last longish encounter was at the wedding of my son Andrew. The family stayed up late to play games and he introduced us to the game "Mafia". I haven't played it since but I still smile at the memories of that night.

These were some of the cousins, not all, but those who were available at the wedding shoot. The groom was obviously busy and Jon must have been chasing kids.
   What I know for sure is that someone was there to greet him and take him home. Grandma Beth knew he was coming and prepared the way.

Book of Mormon Sunday II- Mosiah 23-29

   The deliverance of Alma's people shows the power of the atonement. Mormon. the editor, comments that affliction is given to the righteous as well as the unrighteous to show the power of Jesus Christ's deliverance. I get that; I am not comfortable with that truth but I understand that every child of God must come to see Jesus as their Savior. 

    Mos.24:14 "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

    This people will have burdens placed upon them and the help they receive from the Lord will be talked about for generations. Their deliverance will be an example of the mercy of God and will stand as a testimony to their posterity.
   Mos.24:16 "And it came to pass that so great was their faith and their patience that the voice of the Lord came unto them again, saying: Be of good comfort, for on the morrow I will deliver you out of bondage. And he said unto Alma: Thou shalt go before this people, and I will go with thee and deliver this people out of bondage."     Mosiah 26:8 "Now king Mosiah had given Alma the authority over the church." What confidence the King must have had in this Alma who had changed his heart at the words of Abinadi. As the chosen head of the church he found himself in the position of judging the actions of his people. 

    Mosiah 26:13 "And now the spirit of Alma was again troubled; and he went and inquired of the Lord what he should do concerning this matter, for he feared that he should do wrong in the sight of God."

  Every church leader should feel that humility and the Lord assures Alma of his confidence.

  Mosiah 26:20 "Thou art my servant; and I covenant with thee that thou shalt have eternal life; and thou shalt serve me and go forth in my name, and shalt gather together my sheep.

   I  think of the soul searching Alma did about the behavior of his own son. What deliverance and mercy it was that the angel interceded and stopped these young men from further sin.

    Mosiah 27:29 " My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more."

    Mosiah 28:4 "And thus did the Spirit of the Lord work upon them, for they were the very vilest of sinners. And the Lord saw fit in his infinite mercy to spare them; nevertheless they suffered much anguish of soul because of their iniquities, suffering much and fearing that they should be cast off forever. And it came to pass that they did plead with their father many days that they might go up to the land of Nephi"

    These stories of repentance are a comfort to me as they show the mercy of our Savior. 

A Temple in Suburbia

     Sometimes, not often enough, I go to the city and visit a sanctuary we call a Temple of God. It is made of stone, glass and steel but it is also made of commitment and devotion. I go to worship a God who is just and true. Within it's walls I find peace and connectedness. Not just for myself, but I go to bring peace and connectedness to others.

    There is much to learn about my God from being outside the temple walls. Notice how the lines of the building move the eye upward. To ascend to Him is his desire and his glory.

     An angel in golden attire stands upon the highest pinnacle blowing a trump to announce to the world that God has restored the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That the veil has been opened to allow all God's children to sanctify themselves and come to Him.

       This sanctification comes through the living water offered by Jesus Christ. It is his life and mission which is exemplified inside and outside the walls. Not unlike temples of old, God teaches through pattern and symbols in his holy house.

     The family is front and center in the purpose of the temple. We come to unite husband and wife and to seal families forever.

    As buds on a much beloved tree I learn to embrace the divinity in myself and see it in all of humanity.

       This life is the spring of an eternal life and I yearn to understand the life that God lives.

      He teaches me line by line and precept upon precept how I can be made whole and wholly His.

       I go to the temple to find my Savior and in the process I learn about who I really am.

One Word

  A photo blog I visit is discussing the power of one word. I admit I thought it a bit contrived until I noticed words around me, at home and in the homes of others. I have words on my socks, for heaven's sake, and these words are great. How did I miss these words all around me.

A favorite painting was wonderful and when I added some very meaningful words the painting became a source of comfort.

I have photographed some words in the homes of my friends. Here is a sampling.

 This picture is here, not because the words tea infuser are important, but because I love the flowers I purchased yesterday and my big teacup has a worthy purpose now.
   Words are everywhere and they can bring our minds to better thoughts, don't you think?