Lose

Lose Your Mind or Fill Your Mind

I am on a quest to be more mindful this year but there is one part of my mind I am trying to lose. Do you know the voice of your ego, or natural mind? It is the part of us formed throughout life which concerns itself always with what is best for our well-being. It warns us of danger, argues for us when we are wronged, rationalizes away our failures when we are overcome, and gives us endless chatter about what went wrong in the past and what will likely happen in the future. It gathers facts in our defense based on how things should be if we could control all things. In my quest to pay attention I want to lose the attention I give to this "Natural Mind". 

    So, to what shall I give attention? You can certainly find information from more qualified sources but here is what I think. The "Spiritual Mind" is quiet. Spaciousness is an adjective I would attach to this sacred place. It feels and moves to allow light within my skin and bones. At the center it searches for Jesus Christ. Like a magnet, feeling the pull of truth, it searches along the inner path to be taught. The Holy Spirit resides in this sacred space within my soul, or heart, or quiet mind. Whatever you call it, it is life rejuvenating.
   To lose the "natural mind" is not simple, neither is it difficult. It is simply lost when I choose to pay attention to spirit. Oh, but, it is so difficult because I am so comfortable with the "it's all about me" stories I treasure up to my chest. Today will my mind be filled with me or with Him?

The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be forever and ever, 

unless he yields to the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ, The Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love 

willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, as a child doth submit to his father.

                                                 Mosiah 3:19

                                                       

   I have been writing with the Five Minute Friday Group for two years and I really enjoy the talented writers who share their work. Would you like to join? 

Mindful Monday- The Inner Path

                   "....until Christ be formed in you."
                                                                                                    Galatians 4:19

       The inner path to more awareness of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in my life can so easily postponed. It takes time, stillness, and patience. For that reason I create a comfortable, happy space that invites me to come. Once my outer world is inviting I try bringing variety and interest to the inner world.

   Study- The devotion of time and attention to acquiring knowledge

   Reflect- To think deeply and carefully 

   Ponder- To consider quietly, carefully, and intently

   Visualize-Form a mental picture, imagine

   Meditate-quiet the thinking self to allow the presence of the spirit to come

In me, He, the spirit and presence of the Savior, rests under my conscious awareness. I desire a practice that will allow him to form in my heart.

   "He is "formed" in us, if we open the door, He will enter. If we seek His counsel, He will counsel us...This prince of Peace waits to give peace of mind, which which may make each of us a channel of peace."

                                                   Howard W. Hunter

  In many ways all my mindfulness pursuits so far this year have been leading to this pursuit. 

I feel excited to invite him every morning and this past week, every evening. This is so much more than the spoken prayers I give, sometimes without making contact at all. Contemplative prayer and meditation is allowing Him to teach me, not about what I need and want, but about what He is and what He wants.

   "As adults come to understand the workings of their own mind and then undertake exercises to shape their mind into a tool for their own spiritual development, their divine attributes and powers inevitably develop. These exercises include exploring awareness, consciousness, mindfulness, and meditation. Even though some of these areas may be unfamiliar to many readers, they are entirely resonant with scripture and appropriate for greater spiritual development."

Catherine Thomas

 June is a month to be more mindful of God.
You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Want

                             To Be Found Wanting

             The princess couldn't sleep because a pea was pressing into her hyper-sensitive back.  She was found wanting. There are little irritations pressing on everyone. Like tiny rocks in our shoes, we writhe in discomfort at small plans gone south, misunderstandings blown out of proportion, and splintered relationships refusing to mend. Our life is found wanting. 

It happens to everyone. Nephi was a strong, spiritual man but after years of strife with his brothers, he found his life wanting.

2 Nephi 4:17   Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in 

showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.  O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?  And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way--but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.  O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

   Why should our soul sorrow and our strength slacken? Awake! Awake to the path our Savior has paved. Awake to the blessings he holds out to each child of God. Awake to the inner path that leads to his heart, by way of our heart, where he desires to abide. There is nothing there to find wanting.

                                                   

   I have been writing with the Five Minute Friday Group for two years and I really enjoy the talented writers who share their work. Would you like to join? 

Mindful Monday- Mindful Of God

     It is June. In January when I roughly sketched out twelve ideas of what I wanted to become more mindful of, I chose June to explore how I could become more aware of God in my life. It sounded important and I certainly did not have a plan for how I would go about this important endeavor. Here is where I will start.

   I want to travel an inner path towards feeling more of the presence of Jesus Christ.

I am not entirely sure where this path will take me but this is my intention. Creating sacred space, just for Him, inside my heart is the goal. An image of the underground life nourishing the roots comes to mind. Above ground the world is unaware of the light and life going on underneath.

Here is another image to explain my thoughts.

I believe we walk an outer path in our worship of Christ and an inner path. In my experience, the inner path supports and gives purpose to the outer path. This month I want to learn more about my inner path, my inner life, so that I can serve others more compassionately. I believe that will happen.

                       June is a month to be more mindful of God. 

              You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Haven

    A haven where I come to quiet my mind quiet and where I reach out to feel the presence of God.

    Each morning I climb the steps to my office before dawn. It is getting harder as the sun is almost winning the race. I sit before a beautiful view out over the forest . The awaited sound is the dawnsong of the birds. They still my ragged breathing and with each breath I go inside to wait.

The Dawnsong by Gabriele Burgess

   I wait to feel the presence of God within me because I believe he wishes to abide in me and I, in him. My thinking mind wants to wander over the stories of today and of yesterday but I bring the endless chatter back to my breath. Most times, I will be truthful, my mind wins. But, I continue to come and wait. Because, I have felt him and He is a haven worth waiting for.


I write on Fridays with a large group who inspire me. Only five minutes and without much thought to perfection. I write, prompted by one word that sends my thoughts to the keyboard and hopefully make sense.

                                                     

Mindful Monday- Listening To My Ancestors

Remembering The Soldiers Whose Lives Were Forever Altered By The Threat of Combat

   Today is Memorial Day and I have stopped to listen to my ancestors. I looked through old photograph albums to find our soldiers. The first was August Lindner, my great- grandfather, who must have been in the Prussian army. I don't know much of his story but I suspect he was very proper as he taught my grandmother to be. He had 10 children, eight of them were girls.

August Friedrich Lindner (1841-1921)

Walter Paul Betterman (1912-1996)

  
This is my uncle Walter. He came to America twice to visit and I found him to be a very practical, logical man. He left a personal history and I loved this paragraph describing the feelings he had being finally released as a prisoner after WW2.

"On a Saturday afternoon I arrived, seeing the Hirschberg valley before me with the Polish Eagle on top of the City building. I will never forget this view, even having the the Riesenggebirge panorama in the background. On this Saturday I crossed paths with my youngest sister Marta, and on the same evening my mother and sister Hanna, and early Sunday morning I was with my wife and children. As no-one knew whether I was alive or dead, the surprise was impactful. Ulrich played in front of the house. He was four and a-half and knew who I was immediately."

Erich Titze (1915-1939)

My uncle Erich lasted only one day, dying in Poland the day after he arrived there. I met his grandson two years ago and thought how he would have loved knowing his progeny.

Kurt Titze (1911-1977)

My father left a journal which gives much more detailed information about his war experiences. When I read his words I can hear his voice and I remember how he wanted me to understand. He wasn't just trying to be honest but he wanted us to understand how he viewed his life.

    "As we approached the battle front we were shot at with MG's. Many soldiers left the train to fight but we went deeper into the Russian woods until we were only 50 miles outside of Moscow. We saw the tops of the tanks which were lined up along then streets of Moscow.

    The assault on Moscow failed and the German soldiers had to retreat into the winter landscape. Many had frostbite and some froze to death. Then we marched two days and two nights up along the road. We saw suffering and malnutrition. The front came closer as we marched. Sometimes we had to lie in the snow lie sardines on bales of straw. If you asked how we endured I would say you become like an animal. The greatest joy is eating and resting even if it is in the mud. There was nothing that warmed the heart more than obtaining food. We saw patriots who were hanged from trees. 

    We found an old hut by a farmhouse and started a small fire inside for warmth. The walls were covered with newspaper clippings to keep out the light. These small fires would give us a little light to read or to search for lice or fleas. We had to leave because the hut burned to the ground. 

   Lying along the roadway would be Russian women and their naked children. The German soldiers took the bread crumbs away from these starving Russians. Horseflesh was a delicacy. We cut trees and built bunkers. Once two children walked out from the front line. A ten-year old had a gun shot wound. The other child, a 14 year-old girl, was being dragged by her pig-tails because these children were thought to be spies.

     The weather was often wonderful sunshine and sometimes the front was quiet. Disease spread everywhere and I was overcome. I began to retain water and my skin was swollen as if it would pop. The water retention went away but I was not healthy for six months. Some comrades died. 

     The greatest joy of my life came when I was shipped home to recover in a hospital back in my homeland. I was finally back in civilization where I could sleep between sheets,have light to see, and someone waiting upon me. Soldiers live in such filth day in and day out.  Month after month we patrolled the front line and became hardened to our condition. But my situation changed. For two weeks I lay in a hospital in a fortification in Konigsburg."

  This is where my mind wanders today as I learn to listen. I'm trying to stay mindful of what my ancestors wanted to leave behind for my benefit. 


May is a month to explore listening. You can read more about my Year of Mindfulness here.

Cheer

                                  Be of Good Cheer

    I find those words in many places in scripture. The context is usually that the world is a difficult place but we have not been forgotten and help is all around us. I do find solace in these words. But I feel there is a reaching needed to trust them. I suspect the presence of the Savior is not up high but still I feel a need to reach to feel him. Reaching puts me in readiness to receive. The support I need will not just fall on me. Arms outstretched shows I am acting. I am acting in faith that I can be of good cheer because he has not forgotten me.

  And now behold, the Lord remembereth all them who have been broken off, wherefore he remembereth us also. Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves--to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.

                      2 Nephi 10:22-23

I write on Fridays with a large group who inspire me. Only five minutes and without much thought to perfection. I write, prompted by one word that sends my thoughts to the keyboard and hopefully make sense.