Tuesday, October 6, 2015

A Funny Stormy First Draft

"Creating is the act of paying attention to our own experiences and connecting the dots so we can learn more about ourselves and the world around us."

     I became more interested in a creative life while taking an online class from Brené Brown entitled, "The Gifts of Imperfection. "Dr. Brown's research indicated that the wholehearted group had some creative outlet. They danced, played music, wrote. knitted, sewed, painted, not as professionals but as partakers of creation. I leaned towards art. I started out with art journaling and then took classes in intuitive art. I was hooked. Here is an amusing stormy first draft concerning my sharing as an artist. 


                               I am an artist not an artist

  1. My emotions and feelings concerning this story
              "Let's do it again!" inspiration said. "Let's enter another painting in the community art show."
I'm sure I shall surely fail if I do it again. But, it was so fun and interesting.
    On opening night at the gallery I made my husband take me. I wanted to back down and stay home but my painting was there, alone, with many more inspired offerings. She (the painting) needed me to claim her and stand before her.

     2. The reactions my body is having
           My body started revving faster as I entered the gallery. The light was blinding and distorted. My painting was not in the first room. I looked without seeing, scanning instead of comprehending. When I came around the wall I saw her (my painting) but I felt I could not approach. I was breathing shallow breaths. I wanted to stay and I wanted to go.

     3The thoughts that keep going around and around my head
        I am a fraud. I draw like a child. No one will like it. I am embarrassed. She (my painting) is inspired. Someone will surely buy her. She is amazing. She is horrible.

    4. The beliefs I have regarding myself
     I am not an artist. But I want to use my creativity. I want to play with paint and papers and ink. I want to improve. I did not pay the price of an art filled life. Art is self- indulgence.  This hobby is not going to last.
    5. The actions I have taken  and want to take in regard to my story
          I went back to the gallery the next day. There was only one person there, a gallery volunteer. I carefully looked at each entry, I saw them not as a competitors but as a scared artists just like me. I quickly took a phone photo of my painting while the gallery volunteer wasn't looking. Finally, I spoke to him, "This one is mine. She is entitled "My Home." He smiled. I smiled.
    "Let's do it again", inspiration said.

I am joining Kate Motaung and others who are writing every day in October. My intention is to record my reactions and feelings about Brené Brown's newest book, "Rising Strong". You can find the other posts I have written here.


  1. I took the same class except I was intimidated by the art portion. In fact, I have written a post about the blank page and how it can be intimidating. Give me a blank page to write upon and the words don't come out fast enough. Give me a paintbrush of water colors and I stop dead in my tracks.,I'm happy to see that you found a passion for art.

  2. I love how you talk about the importance of claiming the painting and standing before her despite the mixed emotions. I think a piece of art is something so personal it must feel like a part of you is on display and it's a vulnerable position, standing there wondering how people will react. I think the realisation that other people probably feel the same is helpful- seeing them as fellow scared artists rather than competitors. I think your painting is beautiful.

  3. Gabriele your post today made me think of my process to discovering I am a writer. I'm trying to catch up since I've been writing like crazy.

  4. Brave you. It takes a whole lot of gumption ( a la Kate Winslet in the film where she ribbistrates) to get to the point where you have a piece of you hanging in a gallery. I admire your courage. [beautiful piece, by the way....]


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