" Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help"
Amidst the rumble of what is confabulation (A gap in memory replaced by a untruth) and what is truth I have a few new thoughts about my own relationship to being a helper and receiving help. I certainly am uncomfortable with being perceived as a person in need. I would rather be independent of needing help but, I also don't see myself as an adequate helper. Rising up on the delta are some truths.
- Being helped is vulnerable
- I wish I could fix everything like Mary Poppins but, I can't, so I must be grateful to do what I can
- In truth I do help often and being a helper is not a competition. There will always be people who have the gift of charity in more abundance.
" It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."
Mother TheresaSpeaking of Mother Theresa, many were shocked when her writings were disclosed. There was great spiritual need within her. She sought prayers and support often. And what of Paul and the thorn in his flesh. How fervently he sought for relief. I think Brené is correct. If we look away in the face of great need perhaps we actually judge the deep need within ourselves.
"Please pray specially for me that I may not spoil His work and that Our Lord may show Himself -- for there is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead," she wrote in 1953. "It has been like this more or less from the time I started 'the work."
Mother Theresa
I often feel selfish when helping because it feels so good to do so (I try not to think about that too much). I had no idea Mother Theresa also doubted and felt empty - who would have guessed? Even people we look up to are just human after all. (Loved your description of a confabulation....it's amazing how quickly those untruths set root and grow)....
ReplyDeleteI didn't know the meaning of confabulation before this. Memory is tricky and confabulation grow so easily.
DeleteThe Mother Theresa quote is interesting- I think we all doubt and feel inadequate at times. I remember a lady I really looked up to- she always seemed so full of faith and joy whatever her circumstances, until one day she was really struggling with something and asked for prayer. I think she felt bad about it but it was actually good to see that side of her- that she was human after all and that she had the humility to ask for help. It is a courageous and compassionate thing to do.
ReplyDeleteInteresting that you said asking for help is a compassionate thing to do. It is isn't it!
DeleteThis past year I have had to ask for help more than I ever have in my life. In moving my parents to assisted living and then my Dad to Memory Care, I knew nothing about the process. I had to ask for help, something I have never been comfortable with. However, everywhere I turned I was met with such kindness. I think most people are willing to help when asked.
ReplyDeletePeople are willing as we are to help. As Carly said it is courageous to ask and give help and compassionate to ask and give help.
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