Friday, October 9, 2015

Bouncing Hurt

"Anger, blame, and avoidance are the ego's bouncers"

I am trying to get some bouncers off my payroll. I hired them 100 years ago, or so it seems, to take care of those pesky emotional hurts. But these three, anger, blame and avoidance still feel like they must police my emotional life. They are working less hours now that I am more mature but I certainly am acquainted with their tactics.

   I married young and had five wonderful children in a decade. Being immature, I had to grow up with my kids. When I became emotionally over-wrought I turned to anger and blame to take care of the issues. This made me feel guilty and small and fueled the emotions I couldn't integrate.
   Doing the dishes became a big issue in my home. As the kids got older, I wanted them to share in this constant task. I couldn't fully understand why I had to nag so much. I behaved badly. They behaved badly. I rumbled over this problem for a decade. It resolved in a surprising way. You can read about it here. It resolved through prayer and humility. Having children provided a school in humility. Why did it take me so long to turn to prayer as a solution? And, I'm not out of school, yet.

  "Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answers to thy prayers."

 I am joining Kate Motaung and others who are writing every day in October. My intention is to record my reactions and feelings about Brené Brown's newest book, "Rising Strong". You can find the other posts I have written here.               


  1. Excellent post. Those 3 visit me quite often too, but maybe not quite as much as they used to. Frustration is another of their friends that keeps trying to come around. With the Lord's help, I hope to sooner or later completely replace them with the fruit of the spirit instead. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.…" Galatians 5:22

    Good to meet you. So glad you visited me and I enjoyed my visit to you. Have a great weekend.

  2. Thank you for sharing your journey and it's nice to meet you! I'm your neighbor on FMF. My husband and I are just beginning our child-raising journey, with two little boys under 3. Since our first was born, I can see that God is using parenting as a way to grow me up as well as grow our little boys up! The lessons certainly aren't always pleasant but I am thankful for God using them to shape my character.

    Five kids in 10 years! You are blessed with a beautiful family :)
    Amy @

  3. Gosh, I didn't know you're a Mum of 5! I take my hat off to you! Had to chuckle about the 'dishes' problem and how you were led to a solution! I definitely think that the key to a happier and more fulfilled life is humility (and kindness and gratitude) keeps us off a perch and let's us see things with empathetic eyes...). [I'm also learning about the benefits of prayer: it's been an interesting journey so far]


What do you think?