"Anger, blame, and avoidance are the ego's bouncers"
I am trying to get some bouncers off my payroll. I hired them 100 years ago, or so it seems, to take care of those pesky emotional hurts. But these three, anger, blame and avoidance still feel like they must police my emotional life. They are working less hours now that I am more mature but I certainly am acquainted with their tactics.
I married young and had five wonderful children in a decade. Being immature, I had to grow up with my kids. When I became emotionally over-wrought I turned to anger and blame to take care of the issues. This made me feel guilty and small and fueled the emotions I couldn't integrate.
Doing the dishes became a big issue in my home. As the kids got older, I wanted them to share in this constant task. I couldn't fully understand why I had to nag so much. I behaved badly. They behaved badly. I rumbled over this problem for a decade. It resolved in a surprising way. You can read about it here. It resolved through prayer and humility. Having children provided a school in humility. Why did it take me so long to turn to prayer as a solution? And, I'm not out of school, yet.
"Be thou humble; and the Lord thy God shall lead thee by the hand, and give thee answers to thy prayers."