Sunday I had a last minute call to step in and teach a class of women in church. The regular teacher was in the hospital, sitting beside her sister who was experiencing extreme unknown pain. Reflecting on the ministry of this sister, I felt impressed to do a group rumble about need. I was leaving the regular scheduled lesson material and I risked failure but pressed forward. I warmed up our learning juices by having the ladies all give me companion words to the word "service". Then I asked who would rather be a helper than be someone who needs help. The vote was unanimous. Everyone preferred being a helper. What makes helping someone rewarding? The answers included feeling good, making a difference, and one I really thought made sense. Helping only takes a short while. Being in need can seem to last forever.
Who came to church today in need? Only two hands went up. I asked them to reflect again. If we don't feel the need to worship and need to ask for our Savior's assistance, why come through the chapel doors?
Some more questions:
- What is the danger of tying your self-worth to being a helper?
- What is the shame in asking for help?
- How can we be truly comfortable and generous in the face of someone's need when we are repelled by our own?
- How does learning to accept help bring more self-reliance?
What service did this woman perform?
Why did one murmur when the woman administered the spikenard oil to anoint Jesus?
What did Jesus need?
Following we read Matthew 26:36-46.
How does sitting by someone in need help them?
Why did Jesus need his disciples to watch with him?
What was Jesus needing?
Did he wish the cup to pass from him?
Was he talking only about Peter's flesh being weak or did he also mean his own?
"Curiosity, clean communication, circling back, and rumbling became part of our culture."
Brené is talking about her work group here but I wonder if we rumbled more at church if we could own more of our stories. I was risking bringing secular ideas into the meeting but I felt they had a spiritual focus.
" My rumbles with shame, judgement, privilege, connection, need, fear, and self-worth taught me that it wasn't the pain or the hurt that made me look away. It was my own need."