"One of the truisms of wholehearted living is you either walk into your story and own your truth or you live outside your story, hustling for worthiness."
As human beings we all want to be the hero of our story. I like to think I did the right thing at the right time and if even for a moment I catch a glimpse of the truth, that I have betrayed myself somewhere along the way, my mind finds justification for the failure. Why, just last week, I was forced to see a truth. Gasp! I wrote about it in my FMF post entitled, "Doubt". It is a small example, but it came during a time when I was open to owning the truth that there are things that I just don't care to deal with. Cleaning out my cupboard so that things can be functional is really low on the "to do" list. So I stuff containers in any crevice and shut the door quick. I fool myself into believing that my cupboard is fine until…..a flying tea tin hits the kitchen floor. And you know, if the tea tin hadn't realeased when my husband opened the door I would have been fine. But, he saw my failing. I could not stay the hero in that story.
"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do".
The cupboard story is a perfect parable. If I truly want to be wholehearted I am going to need to clean my cupboards, otherwise I'll be dancing the "hustle". Do you know the hustle? It is that two step you do when you can't do or say what you really mean because you want to be liked more than you want to be honest. I have done a good amount of hustling since I was a little girl. I was the baby and the only girl in my family. My brothers say I was spoiled and I agree but in that spoiling I learned to please. Pleasing others was good because it allowed me to get what I needed. It also tied my heart into compartments. Jesus calls that double mindedness and it creates instability, emotionally, and physically. On my journey to wholeheartedness I will need to stop hustling and be more willing to own my story. More on stories tomorrow. Today is the Sabbath and a day for listening.