Anticipation

  Let Go

                                                     A wise woman with a dozen children once told me,

                                                                Let go of your expectations and just be.

                                               Be what, I asked hoping she would show how to proceed.

                                                       Be faithful, be kind, be good with no guarantees. 

                                                       I scoffed. I so needed to claim my own destiny.

                                                 It will claim you, she said, who you become is the key.

Christmas is one week away and I'm up this morning very early staring at my little tree in the dark. The sculpture my father made of me when I was nineteen is looking expectantly. What is she thinking? Are you ready for Christmas? Has it been a hassle preparing on top of your normal life? Have you spent time with Jesus in honoring your Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother? Have you been faithful, have you been kind, have you been good for goodness sake?

Most of the gifts are under the piano but the mail hasn't delivered everything, yet. Invitations are out to family and decisions have been made about where we will be Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and Boxing Day. I've been writing about a calm Christmas for more than a month. Have I felt the calm peace of this season more this year?

Here are some precious moments of these last few weeks:

• Shopping with grandkids and observing what they think is special
• Participating every Sunday in a Zoom advent celebration with extended family
• Making a Gingerbread house with my grandson on his December birthday
• Taking a walk and coming upon a nativity scene in the woods
• Playing Christmas duets with my piano students
• Sharing scripture insights with my granddaughter almost everyday
• Hanging last year's Christmas paintings
• Writing every morning
• I wrote some poems

So far, so good. This season is percolating in my very bones. I am at peace.

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Neither Do I Condemn You

Speaking Of Him

  Hopkins said that the power of Him

Was a billion times more energized 

Than a Windhover’s soaring swim

Executed through dappled skies.

If the world speaks less of Him

Let me speak more spacious text

Of how he sees me out on that limb,

Extends his hand, and I wait for what happens next.

Artwork by Eva Timothy

What happened next? He sees the woman judged and condemned and sends her accusers away. 

John 8:10 

“When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”

To this Joseph Smith translates this added phrase:

"And the woman glorified God from that hour, and believed on his name."

That is what happened next. She believed that he was not condemning her and that her faith in him would lift her up. He did not condone her sins but He did not leave her in her sins. Now she had a way forward and a way up. I believe she glorified him by testifying of his power and then moving toward a life of faith. Her story moves me and fills me with awe and a sense of calm.

  If you are interested in reading Gerald Manley Hopkin's "The Windhover" click here.

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Hearth And Home

 Winter 

   Rain, rain, rain, snow and sleet,

Keep the water at my feet.

   Whipping wind in my face,

I so love this tempestuous place.

  Looking for some signs of Spring

Listening for the birds that sing,

  When some sun comes peeking through

I’ll be ready for something new.

It is not officially winter yet, seven days until, but the short days are signally that we are in the darkest part of the year. Now is the time for hearth and home to have predominance. Christmas is always calmer when I have cozy corners throughout the house. Those are the places I retreat to in the early morning and late night hours. Do you have memories of siting underneath the Christmas tree, lights twinkling above your head? Those memories are filled with hope and love.

And what about your advent wreath? Does lighting a candle each Sunday bring a feeling of connectedness to the Savior, Jesus Christ, who is the reason for the season? Last year I purchased a wooden candle holder with 25 holes. Each slot for a candle has a title or name of Jesus engraved on the side. I have a tradition now at Christmas and Easter of lighting one candle  every morning. On the 25 day the whole wreath is ablaze with warmth and light. 

And what about your actual hearth? The reason we say hearth and home is because the hearth was a symbol of home. In years past the hearth heated and provided a place to prepare food. Much of the daily chores of living happened around the hearth. Take the 'h' off hearth and we have heart of the home. I do have a fireplace, which we don't really use, but much of my Christmas decoration is on the mantle and above the mantle. I find my eyes settling on my mantle often during the day and it  provides a calm resting visual place.

The last, but not least, place for Christmas calm is my piano. Here my piano students play their beautiful seasonal pieces every day. It is here that I come to rehearse a piece for church. It is here that I play just for myself when the night draws closer. It could very well be the heart of my home.

My piano by Pam Ingalls

A calm Christmas does have it's center at home. May all our homes feel more like heaven this Christmas. For many this may not be true but I wish it were so.

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His Yoke Is Easy

                                                                                                             His Yoke

  Jesus invited us to take

His yoke upon our shoulders.

 It is the covenant we make 

That allows us to be beholders

  Of His burden, which is light.

Why is it light? Why is it easy?

  How could carrying our sins be slight?

His deep love makes the yoke breezy.

 

Art work by Eva Timothy

Matthew 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

His yoke are the covenants which he is willing to make with us. Those covenants are a labour of love for Him as well as for our Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother. I believe he views them as easy and light because of the special love (Hesed) that he feels for anyone willing to enter in. In the artwork above notice where his right hand is resting. Can you feel the support and caring he offers?

The rest he offers has always been on my mind. That is why I wrote the song Into His Rest. If you missed the post containing the music video of Into His Rest, click here.

I can't think of any way to have a calmer Christmas than to rejoice in his yoke and feel him by my side.

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He Hath Sent Me

Forever

   How long will I yearn to be in thy embrace?

Forever

   How long will I walk in green pastures beside thee?

  Forever

   How long will I need thy comfort?

Forever 

   How long will I cry out to hear thy voice?

Forever

   I knew thee then, I know thee now, and I will know thee,

   Forever.

                                    John 7:21 "Jesus answered and said unto them, I have done one work, and ye all marvel. Moses therefore gave unto you circumcision; (not because it is of Moses, but of the fathers;) and ye on the sabbath day circumcise a man. If a man on the sabbath day receive circumcision, that the law of Moses should not be broken; are ye angry at me, because I have made a man every whit whole on the sabbath day?

 Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment."

It must have required light to see who Jesus really was. Light that was not clouded by past preconceptions or dogma. Here he was in the temple teaching that they needed to look beyond Moses. They needed to have their own righteous compass. He was before them to fulfill the Law of Moses. What did they need to see beyond their pre-conceptions?

John 7:28 "Then cried Jesus in the temple as he taught, saying, Ye both know me, and ye know whence I am: and I am not come of myself, but he that sent me is true, whom ye know not. But I know him: for I am from him, and he hath sent me.

 Then they sought to take him: but no man laid hands on him, because his hour was not yet come.

At this Christmas season can I open my eyes and see Him? He offers me the knowledge even beyond Him to my Father. I knew him in the pre-existence and I can know him here and now. Jesus is the door to before and forever.

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Fearful

  Fearful

  Were they afraid because he walked on the sea?

   Were they afraid because he disappeared for a while?

   There are reasons for fear, some are weighty,

Whatever reason, fear is mighty trial.

  As soon as He is back in the boat

My anxious heart can relax and rest.

  Any place, no matter how remote,

When He is with me I am blessed.  

It is strange for me to write about fear under the subject of a calm Christmas. Maybe fear shouldn't show up at this time. However if I am to have more Jesus during these days I will reflect on those times in scripture when He offered comfort to those in fear. Here are some words he spoke in comfort.

"God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." Rev. 7:17

"Fear not; for I have redeemed thee." Isaiah 43:1

"I will be with thee." Isaiah 43:2

"Fear not...in me your joy is full." Doctrine and Covenants 101:36

"I am he; yea, I am he that comforteth you." 2 Nephi 8:12

"And he did smile upon them again." 3 Nephi 19:30

The list could go on and on. I feel less fear reading and having faith on his words. 

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Honoring The Melancholy

                                                                                             Melancholy

   It’s part of the increased darkness 

As days grow ever more short.

  Hibernating with inwardness

Even nature does a downward transport.

 I draw in, too, turning on the lights,

Finding more moments to read, 

  More candles to ignite

And eating more sugar with greed.

I fight the downward spiral

   Not willing to embrace the inner darkness

Where it can unwittingly go viral,

  I seek less gloom, more intimate stillness.

 I am eating my oatmeal with apples and nuts. The bowl is warm and fragrant. I’m breaking my own rules and eating on the couch with a blanket over my legs. My heart has an ache for a friend. She and her husband are homeless and living in their Suburban. How did this happen?

 Where will they turn to recover what they’ve lost?

   Another ache niggles up to the surface. Cancer treatment has robbed my friend of his vitality, never mind his hair. He is a man of great faith. When will he recover his health?

It’s Christmas time and these aches seem to be taking up residence right alongside the anticipated joy. It seems that this is always the case. 

                                            Joy and sorrow coexist in an uncomfortable pairing. 

    Winter is a season of extremes. The longest nights, coldest days, and most often sniffles and sneezes are an everyday occurrence. Why does Christmas come at such an unbalanced time?

                                    What is to be learned about balancing the dark and light?

  When heaviness enters my soul it isn’t lightness I long for and seek after. It isn’t distractions with silver bows and tinsel that I need. No Hallmark Christmas movie will remove my lack of ease. I yearn for a balance of reality and hope. Just like the night darkness is real, I want the hope a candle brings to the heart. Just like coldness seeps into my bones I desire the hope that a fire ignites as I push my toes to the flame. 

   Already I anticipate the balance of Spring again, when the days and nights are equal, when the growing and changing is measured and steady. 

                                   But, here I am in winter and Christmas is coming very soon. 

                                                                                

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