How Covid-19 Changed Cancer Treatments

Day 19-

 "You don't look anything like you do on Zoom."

Before Covid our doctors and nurses had faces we could read. I looked for signs of worry and concern in their eyes. 

When I met my second oncologist for the first time in person she said to me, "You don't look anything like you do on Zoom."

I laughed out loud. "Well, there's no way I can even tell who you are."

Before Covid you could walk into a medical facility and approach the receptionist.  Now, I am greeted with questions, my temperature is taken with a wand, and I am given an oxygen test. Then I stand behind a plexiglass wall and talk to the receptionist.

Before Covid you could bring up to three people to your chemo infusions. Sometimes, or so my nurses told me, it turned into a party. I have a dear friend whose father went through chemo treatments. He dressed up in a different theme each time and his family and friends came dressed in that theme as well. So if the theme was clowns, then everyone he brought to chemo was dressed like a clown.

Now I go alone, with my mask on, sit six feet apart and busy myself with reading or knitting for the four hour treatment. 

All these procedure are for health and safety. 

It can feel like scarcity of warmth and engagement. But for now, it is enough.

Do the birds panic in winter? In the barrenness do they despair? The opposite of scarcity is enough. Whole heartedness is born of scarcity. 

There is peace in enough.

                            

                                 Go To Day 20

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