"Hair loss makes cancer patients feel exposed and vulnerable. Something this visible can cause an unwelcome intrusion, transforming a personal health struggle into one that is public."
Hats are making a big come back in my life. Here is a montage of pictures of four generations. Top left; my grandmother, top right; my mother, bottom left; me, and bottom right my adorable granddaughter.
At The Kitchen Table
“It’s happening.” I said it quietly and slowly.
“What is?” He looked up from his book.
“You know, the thing I’ve been dreading.” He should know exactly what I was talking about.
“ Ah….I’m going to be in the dog house here, I know, but….what are you dreading again?”
A slow, rolling angst was coming up from my core.
“I have cancer, you know!”
He looked up with a dismayed expression.
“What is going on?” He arose from his side of the table and came around to sit next to me.
The tears burst from my eyes. “I am losing my hair. There was a big bunch in the shower today. I didn’t actually think it would happen.”
He pulled me up from my chair and held me firmly against the truth of my life.
It has been therapeutic to write about my walk with cancer but I have not been able to go out in public without a head covering. At first I thought is was vanity but it is more about being in control of a mop of hair that I shampoo, blow dry and style, and then this projects or makes a statement about who I am. As of yet, baldness just isn't a good look for me, although it is convenient and less costly when it comes to haircuts and hair coloring. By Christmas I should have my wish. A new head of hair.
Never had thought much about what is must feel like losing ones hair in cancer treatment. It seemed to me an outward show or badge of courage indicating a great incredible invisible battle one was enduring. Thank you for sharing your sensitive and painful perspective, Gabriele.
ReplyDeleteMy experience has made me more compassionate with the many bald heads I see every three weeks in the chemo treatment center.
ReplyDelete